In the military, it's common knowledge that you will spend a good amount of your life NOT with your spouse/significant other... yep. Our first year of marriage was spent states apart... I was living in Michigan, while he was in Oklahoma, and then Kentucky. Even though it was sad to be away from my best friend, we:
1. Never fought over the remote control and...
2. Had a 2nd, 3rd, 4th, etc honeymoon everytime we were together and spent the weekend with one another.
On my first visit to Kentucky, after seeing Caleb's "new digs", I was shocked at his "lifestyle"... he was LIVING in a HOTEL!! I had heard stories of soldiers living in barracks... not a hotel! Did I mention that this hotel had a continental breakfast, pool, workout room, AND roomservice (that included daily cleaning?!) WHAT?! How was it that I was living in a dark and dreary apartment with a cat, while he was living it up in a hotel?! NOT COOL.
My first morning, I was woken up to an alarm at 5:30am.. he was headed to PT, then came back for breakfast. After breakfast, he was off to work for a bit, so I was to enjoy movies and just relaxing in the hotel... about 9am, a knock on the door distracted me from some Maury-type drama talkshow... what the heck man... then, a cleaning lady walked in and said she had to clean the sheets AND dishes (I failed to mention his room had a kitchen)... I nicely told her that while she could give us new sheets, she was NOT ALLOWED TO TOUCH the pile of dishes in the sink... "he's married, and I can NOT have him getting used to coming home to washed dishes... thanks though". After she gave me a worried look and exclaimed that it was her JOB to wash the dishes, she realized that I wasn't budging on my request... for the remainder of the week I was there, she kindly gave me sheets and new towels... not sure if this lasted after I left, but I can assure you that Caleb DOES do his own dishes AND mine as well... or at least uses the dishwasher :)
Thursday, November 10, 2011
Welcome to Kentucky
Caleb's first orders were to Kansas. How did we end up in Kentucky then you ask? Short and simple- I cried... no, scratch that, I WAS HYSTERICAL. Earlier that year, Caleb flew me out to Oklahoma, which was HUGE because I'm terrified to fly. I was married, hadn't seen my husband in months and my mom "strongly encouraged" me to go visit... so, a few days later, I found myself on the plane, only to have the MOST AMAZING weekend... in the middle of No Where, Oklahoma. I do believe the best thing was a Walmart, Sonice, and about an hour away a few stores/mall and bar... it was fun just spending time with my man though.
After that, Caleb had a course in Kentucky. SWEET. I thought Oklahoma was bad, but then he was sent to Kentucky. Why didn't he get to go to a course in oh, say, Hawaii? Colorado at least?! Nope... we don't have the "luck" to get luxurious places... agh, well. I do believe they have courses in the middle of flippin' No Where, USA so that the soldiers have NOTHING ELSE TO DO besides work and complete their course with no troubles... whatev. Caleb, then asked me to come down for a visit to Kentucky for a weekend... I was a bit hesitant as I literally believed Kentucky was filled with "double H's" aka: horses (my BIGGEST fear in the WHOLE WORLD) and hicks... again, I was hesitant at the best, BUT he had just bought me a car, so figured I should at least visit the guy ;) (all kidding aside, I was ELATED to see my hubby!!)
I was making GREAT time on my trip to Kentucky... and was so geeked to brag about my awesome time since Caleb said it would take about 6.5-7hrs... I was GOING on 6hours when I crossed into KY. Then, I realized my breathing was quickening... and that's when I realized I was having my first panic attack... there were HORSES EVERYWHERE. No joke, as I was driving, there was a horse trailer with a horse that was looking AT ME as if to say "lady, I'm about to kick that door down and trample all over your car..." I looked at the next exit sign (to get away from said horse) only to realize Lexington was about 20minutes away... umm, that CAN'T be right. I quickly called Caleb's dad, only to be told that I was NOT going the right way. He said I MUST HAVE not followed the directions. First of all, I have been nothing but nice to my PASTOR father-in-law and have never lost my temper... but hello, I was LOST. IN. KENTUCKY. BY THE HORSE CAPITOL. I quickly stated the directions, and realized that indeed my knight in shining armor had said to go "East" instead of "West". What the crap man?! *side note: when I got to the hotel, Caleb asked what took me so long... without missing a beat, and saying nothing, I gave him the directions and asked if he noticed anything was wrong... you could see his "kick in the stomach" look on his face... I then told him I already visited the horse capitol today, THAT was why it took so long* :) On the phone with my father in law, this is what our conversation sounded like:
Me: Keith, I'm was being a good wife and FOLLOWING THE DIRECTIONS MY HUSBAND GAVE ME. I CAN'T BE LOST.
Keith: Sarah, you're lost... most definitely lost. You need to turn around, right now... I'm on google Earth and have found out where you're at... you're definitely lost (I already heard I was lost, DAD). ;)
Me: I'm on a HIGHWAY- there's no place to turn around...
Keith: look for a Michigan u-turn
Me: I'M IN FRICKEN' KENTUCKY.. NOT MICHIGAN... THERE ARE NO U-TURNS.
Keith: (as he sensed my voice was not only rising, but quivering), calmly stated to take the next exit. While he was telling me this, I was in the middle of going from 60mph to 10mph in a flat GRASSY median... yes, I looked around to make sure no cops were around...
Me: Ok, I already turned around...
Keith: See, if you were patient, I knew you'd find a u-turn... ;) Ok, so, you're going the right way now... you're going to drive about 30minutes, and then start looking for Exit 9. Call me when you get to Exit 15.
I sped, and believe I made the 30minute trip into 18ish minutes... called him back and said that I was at Exit 10.
Keith: ok, well I have to pull up googleEarth and refresh the page... (I'm still driving)...
Me: Keith, Keith... I'm at Exit 9- what do I do?
Keith: I'm not sure yet... I'm not at Exit 9 yet... hang on
Me: KEITH- I NEED TO KNOW... NOW.
Keith: uhhh...uh...
Me: well, I hope I didn't need to do anything- I passed Exit 9...
This conversation went on for a bit longer, and then I FINALLY found Fort Knox... WHEW!!
I got to Fort Knox, only to find that Caleb was still in the field, and lived in a HOTEL. What the hay man? I was living in a SUPER shady apartment across from this guy that I literally dodged every time I went to/from our place. Our first "trip" was to the commissary. I was IMMEDIATELY in love with the military life. I saw men in uniform getting groceries and THEN saw the (CHEAP!) prices... not sure how we were able to spend SO MUCH money on nothing we needed... on our way back to the hotel, Caleb pulled over and stopped as he faced "the center of post". I was chatting, and got what is best known as the "stink eye". Afterwards, he explained the meaning of the bugle, and that at certain times on post you WILL stop and face the middle of post to give respect. GOT IT. Again, I was in love- over just stopping to hear bugles!
Again, we had an AMAZING weekend. I was really sad to leave, but was going to be back in a few months... while back in Michigan, Caleb got his orders... we were going to... KANSAS!! I cried. I bawled... I was absolutely miserable. "I CAN'T GO TO KANSAS- THERE'S TORNADOES... THERE'S NOTHING THERE!" Needless to say, after a week of tears and worries, my husband switched orders with a friend, and we were going to Kentucky... I can deal with Kentucky, for sure. On the next trip down, (after realizing THIS would be our new "home") I saw a man DRIVING a lawn mower... on the road... as if it were a car. Oh my gosh... I'm in KENTUCKY!!!! Yes, I cried, again. I'm pretty sure Caleb thought I would just wake up one day and up and move myself BACK to Michigan... but I've loved living here... but that's probably because I don't go "off post" much... it's SCARY out "there"!! :)
After that, Caleb had a course in Kentucky. SWEET. I thought Oklahoma was bad, but then he was sent to Kentucky. Why didn't he get to go to a course in oh, say, Hawaii? Colorado at least?! Nope... we don't have the "luck" to get luxurious places... agh, well. I do believe they have courses in the middle of flippin' No Where, USA so that the soldiers have NOTHING ELSE TO DO besides work and complete their course with no troubles... whatev. Caleb, then asked me to come down for a visit to Kentucky for a weekend... I was a bit hesitant as I literally believed Kentucky was filled with "double H's" aka: horses (my BIGGEST fear in the WHOLE WORLD) and hicks... again, I was hesitant at the best, BUT he had just bought me a car, so figured I should at least visit the guy ;) (all kidding aside, I was ELATED to see my hubby!!)
I was making GREAT time on my trip to Kentucky... and was so geeked to brag about my awesome time since Caleb said it would take about 6.5-7hrs... I was GOING on 6hours when I crossed into KY. Then, I realized my breathing was quickening... and that's when I realized I was having my first panic attack... there were HORSES EVERYWHERE. No joke, as I was driving, there was a horse trailer with a horse that was looking AT ME as if to say "lady, I'm about to kick that door down and trample all over your car..." I looked at the next exit sign (to get away from said horse) only to realize Lexington was about 20minutes away... umm, that CAN'T be right. I quickly called Caleb's dad, only to be told that I was NOT going the right way. He said I MUST HAVE not followed the directions. First of all, I have been nothing but nice to my PASTOR father-in-law and have never lost my temper... but hello, I was LOST. IN. KENTUCKY. BY THE HORSE CAPITOL. I quickly stated the directions, and realized that indeed my knight in shining armor had said to go "East" instead of "West". What the crap man?! *side note: when I got to the hotel, Caleb asked what took me so long... without missing a beat, and saying nothing, I gave him the directions and asked if he noticed anything was wrong... you could see his "kick in the stomach" look on his face... I then told him I already visited the horse capitol today, THAT was why it took so long* :) On the phone with my father in law, this is what our conversation sounded like:
Me: Keith, I'm was being a good wife and FOLLOWING THE DIRECTIONS MY HUSBAND GAVE ME. I CAN'T BE LOST.
Keith: Sarah, you're lost... most definitely lost. You need to turn around, right now... I'm on google Earth and have found out where you're at... you're definitely lost (I already heard I was lost, DAD). ;)
Me: I'm on a HIGHWAY- there's no place to turn around...
Keith: look for a Michigan u-turn
Me: I'M IN FRICKEN' KENTUCKY.. NOT MICHIGAN... THERE ARE NO U-TURNS.
Keith: (as he sensed my voice was not only rising, but quivering), calmly stated to take the next exit. While he was telling me this, I was in the middle of going from 60mph to 10mph in a flat GRASSY median... yes, I looked around to make sure no cops were around...
Me: Ok, I already turned around...
Keith: See, if you were patient, I knew you'd find a u-turn... ;) Ok, so, you're going the right way now... you're going to drive about 30minutes, and then start looking for Exit 9. Call me when you get to Exit 15.
I sped, and believe I made the 30minute trip into 18ish minutes... called him back and said that I was at Exit 10.
Keith: ok, well I have to pull up googleEarth and refresh the page... (I'm still driving)...
Me: Keith, Keith... I'm at Exit 9- what do I do?
Keith: I'm not sure yet... I'm not at Exit 9 yet... hang on
Me: KEITH- I NEED TO KNOW... NOW.
Keith: uhhh...uh...
Me: well, I hope I didn't need to do anything- I passed Exit 9...
This conversation went on for a bit longer, and then I FINALLY found Fort Knox... WHEW!!
I got to Fort Knox, only to find that Caleb was still in the field, and lived in a HOTEL. What the hay man? I was living in a SUPER shady apartment across from this guy that I literally dodged every time I went to/from our place. Our first "trip" was to the commissary. I was IMMEDIATELY in love with the military life. I saw men in uniform getting groceries and THEN saw the (CHEAP!) prices... not sure how we were able to spend SO MUCH money on nothing we needed... on our way back to the hotel, Caleb pulled over and stopped as he faced "the center of post". I was chatting, and got what is best known as the "stink eye". Afterwards, he explained the meaning of the bugle, and that at certain times on post you WILL stop and face the middle of post to give respect. GOT IT. Again, I was in love- over just stopping to hear bugles!
Again, we had an AMAZING weekend. I was really sad to leave, but was going to be back in a few months... while back in Michigan, Caleb got his orders... we were going to... KANSAS!! I cried. I bawled... I was absolutely miserable. "I CAN'T GO TO KANSAS- THERE'S TORNADOES... THERE'S NOTHING THERE!" Needless to say, after a week of tears and worries, my husband switched orders with a friend, and we were going to Kentucky... I can deal with Kentucky, for sure. On the next trip down, (after realizing THIS would be our new "home") I saw a man DRIVING a lawn mower... on the road... as if it were a car. Oh my gosh... I'm in KENTUCKY!!!! Yes, I cried, again. I'm pretty sure Caleb thought I would just wake up one day and up and move myself BACK to Michigan... but I've loved living here... but that's probably because I don't go "off post" much... it's SCARY out "there"!! :)
Golf Glasses
I just got inside from the golf course... no, Caleb is not home. I got him a SWEET gift for his birthday, and yes, I already opened it (nice wife huh?!) but I just HAD to see if it worked. I'm grateful there were no MPs around, as they probably would've thought I was in the FBI. Imagine this, if you can: baby attached to my body and these big black sunglasses on looking for golf balls. No, I didn't wear these shades to just look inconspicuous, they're actually MADE to find golf balls!
Supposedly, these glasses are designed to block out everything so that golf balls just magically appear... I found a few range balls (in which I had to put back as Caleb would say "uh babe, c'mon those are RANGE balls- I can't use those...") with them, but while on my way to the ACTUAL golf course I realized the time change and figured out that I couldn't see a dang thing with the shades on... yes, I did look REALLY weird then. I haven't quite gotten up the guts to go to the golf course pond to dash-n-digup balls. However, this is a shout out to Bed Bath and Beyond's golf glasses- pretty cool- even if they didn't work, wouldn't YOU want to look like a member of the Blues Brothers?!
Supposedly, these glasses are designed to block out everything so that golf balls just magically appear... I found a few range balls (in which I had to put back as Caleb would say "uh babe, c'mon those are RANGE balls- I can't use those...") with them, but while on my way to the ACTUAL golf course I realized the time change and figured out that I couldn't see a dang thing with the shades on... yes, I did look REALLY weird then. I haven't quite gotten up the guts to go to the golf course pond to dash-n-digup balls. However, this is a shout out to Bed Bath and Beyond's golf glasses- pretty cool- even if they didn't work, wouldn't YOU want to look like a member of the Blues Brothers?!
Monday, August 1, 2011
July 31, 2011
DAD! CHECK YOUR CALENDAR AND FLIP IT! It's the LAST DAY OF JULY! YEAH! Tomorrow is AUGUST! I know I don't know the order of things yet, but I know that each day down is one closer to you being back home with us, and Mama's friends kept texting her (the military girls) getting all giddy about it being August... gotta love that they get excited about things like that huh? So, I guess I can be excited along with them right?!
We didn't make it to church- again :( Mama tried to set an alarm to get up, but got up really early this morning- went on the ellyptical, then fell back asleep, and I was sound asleep with her, and we completely slept through the first service, and we don't really like going to 2nd service JUST IN CASE you get online- we don't like missing you.
Mama, Grandpa, Grandma, and I went up to Great Grandma Lohman's house. Everyone wanted to see me, and once/twice a month the cousins/uncles/aunts try to get together at her house, so we went up for a few hours. Great Grandma held me for the longest, but shared (even though it was hard for her to let me go)- the last time Mama, Aunt Em, Nana, and I went up (when I was almost a month old) Great Grandma said she "wasn't done with Kenzie" when Mama said they should probably get going, so she told Grandpa HE had to tell her that we had to go... haha :) We had a nice time- Aunt Paula, her girls, Aunt Ronna, Rachel, Aunt Karen, Uncle Marshal, and their kids were there- people are busy, so not everyone was there, but it was nice- they all LOVE me and asked how you're doing... they all miss you a lot too.
We got home and I was REALLY tired, but my new "game" is to try to stay awake, BUT Mama knows the "game" and I just love when she lays me on her chest- I can't help but calm down and fall asleep, so that's what she did (I was SCREAMING) and as soon as I laid on her chest I immediately stopped and fell asleep... it gets me everytime... she has the "touch" people say... that, or she's just my Mama and I love that position... anyways... that was my day! It was a bit long, but seemed to go faster than the past few days just because we got your email! Thanks daddy- we know you try to get ahold of us when you can and you hate being on blackouts (not as much as we hate it, but we know it's a bummer) so we really appreciate you updating us when you can! You working out much? I'm still growing so you and Mama need to keep up- you have to hold me! :) I love you daddy- can't wait until you're home to snuggle with me (AND Mama- I guess she can join too)... but you better be ready to hold me- I won't want you to put me down that's for sure! Cya soon dad!
Love, love, love YOU!
Kenzie
We didn't make it to church- again :( Mama tried to set an alarm to get up, but got up really early this morning- went on the ellyptical, then fell back asleep, and I was sound asleep with her, and we completely slept through the first service, and we don't really like going to 2nd service JUST IN CASE you get online- we don't like missing you.
Mama, Grandpa, Grandma, and I went up to Great Grandma Lohman's house. Everyone wanted to see me, and once/twice a month the cousins/uncles/aunts try to get together at her house, so we went up for a few hours. Great Grandma held me for the longest, but shared (even though it was hard for her to let me go)- the last time Mama, Aunt Em, Nana, and I went up (when I was almost a month old) Great Grandma said she "wasn't done with Kenzie" when Mama said they should probably get going, so she told Grandpa HE had to tell her that we had to go... haha :) We had a nice time- Aunt Paula, her girls, Aunt Ronna, Rachel, Aunt Karen, Uncle Marshal, and their kids were there- people are busy, so not everyone was there, but it was nice- they all LOVE me and asked how you're doing... they all miss you a lot too.
We got home and I was REALLY tired, but my new "game" is to try to stay awake, BUT Mama knows the "game" and I just love when she lays me on her chest- I can't help but calm down and fall asleep, so that's what she did (I was SCREAMING) and as soon as I laid on her chest I immediately stopped and fell asleep... it gets me everytime... she has the "touch" people say... that, or she's just my Mama and I love that position... anyways... that was my day! It was a bit long, but seemed to go faster than the past few days just because we got your email! Thanks daddy- we know you try to get ahold of us when you can and you hate being on blackouts (not as much as we hate it, but we know it's a bummer) so we really appreciate you updating us when you can! You working out much? I'm still growing so you and Mama need to keep up- you have to hold me! :) I love you daddy- can't wait until you're home to snuggle with me (AND Mama- I guess she can join too)... but you better be ready to hold me- I won't want you to put me down that's for sure! Cya soon dad!
Love, love, love YOU!
Kenzie
July 30, 2011
HI DAD! Mama, I, and her friend, Lou (Palmer) went to the Farmer's Market this morning- Lou was up here for a week, and has been wanting to hang out with us, but it didn't work out until this morning. Mama's 2nd grade teacher held me for a bit which was nice- kind of hard to talk/catch up at the Market but it's ok. Then, Lou came over and held me for a bit. Mama and Uncle Nate played the kinect game for awhile... Mama and Uncle Nate returned pop bottles and got a hot-n-ready pizza for lunch (even though Mama can't eat it), but everyone thought it was really nice because they were all doing stuff, but Mama wanted everyone to take a break and be together....THEN, Mama and Nana went to see Horrible Boss' while Uncle Nate and Grandpa saw Captain America. I guess Nana has an 'immature sense of humor' because they keep making fun of her- she really liked Hangover, and thought Horrible Boss' was hilarious (which Mama said it had it's really funny parts, but some of it was pretty 'immature'- not that Mama is THAT mature haha lol)... they enjoyed themselves while I stayed home with Great Aunt Jean. I like when she watches me because she WON'T put me down (she doesn't want me to cry) so I get to be held the ENTIRE TIME of however long they're all gone for- hehe.
When they got home, I got to go over to Grandma's house for a bit. She held me almost the whole time too! I got to play with my sister Daisy... I saw Panzer, but Panzer just kind of sniffs me, looks at me, and just stares- Daisy at least gives me kisses... ;) I had a really nice day being held by everyone for the majority of the day and dreaming about YOU! I LOVE YOU DADDY! CYA SOON!
Love,
Kenz
When they got home, I got to go over to Grandma's house for a bit. She held me almost the whole time too! I got to play with my sister Daisy... I saw Panzer, but Panzer just kind of sniffs me, looks at me, and just stares- Daisy at least gives me kisses... ;) I had a really nice day being held by everyone for the majority of the day and dreaming about YOU! I LOVE YOU DADDY! CYA SOON!
Love,
Kenz
July 29, 2011
Hi Daddy! How's everything going? We miss you like CRAZY! Mama always gets worried when she doesn't hear from you- worried, and she misses you THAT MUCH MORE.. so do I... but it's ok, because we pray so much/so often/so hard ALL THE TIME for YOU and everyone with you... Mama prays, and I listen- we seriously pray at least once an hour... it calms us both down a lot. :) Your guys' friend, Eliesha Delmastro sent Mama a text message saying she heard from her husband (Travis) that he sent her an email right before the blackout happened that said "Lohman and I are ok"... which was so nice just hearing- glad you both keep us up-to-date as best as you can and are looking out for each other. :)
Mama and I hung out all day and got things done around the house- ran some errands, and just rested a bit. Uncle Nate and Mama went for a run/bike ride (Uncle Nate decided he needed to encourage her while running) so he rode alongside Mama while she ran- she ran 5miles! Not too shabby after having me huh? She didn't stop either- I guess it was all that frustration she had lol... she hasn't ran with me in the jogging stroller because she said she has to get back up to her "old running" time/strength first... makes sense, but I'm sure soon enough she'll take me- she hates not being with me... probably because she thinks she's hanging out with you because I'm your mini-me LOL ;) We can't wait to hear from you daddy- EVERYONE is asking about you and waiting for you to come home! We LOVE YOU!
Love,
Kenzie girl
Mama and I hung out all day and got things done around the house- ran some errands, and just rested a bit. Uncle Nate and Mama went for a run/bike ride (Uncle Nate decided he needed to encourage her while running) so he rode alongside Mama while she ran- she ran 5miles! Not too shabby after having me huh? She didn't stop either- I guess it was all that frustration she had lol... she hasn't ran with me in the jogging stroller because she said she has to get back up to her "old running" time/strength first... makes sense, but I'm sure soon enough she'll take me- she hates not being with me... probably because she thinks she's hanging out with you because I'm your mini-me LOL ;) We can't wait to hear from you daddy- EVERYONE is asking about you and waiting for you to come home! We LOVE YOU!
Love,
Kenzie girl
Sunday, July 31, 2011
CAUTION: *rant ahead*
I know that there have been plenty of times where I've opened my mouth, and should've kept it shut as shortly afterwards, inserted my foot into my mouth. I also know there have been times in which I've said things to military members and not thought twice until I've been in that situation... but how about I save people the mistake of some people...
Throughout this deployment I have had many people say outlandish things to myself or my parents... and usually, I'm told things when people ASK me how I'm doing... when I answer "ok- I haven't heard from him in a few days, as we're on a blackout (meaning someone has been KIA)", or "ok, it's been hard the past few days"... that's USUALLY about the time when that person (who ASKED ME how I was doing- maybe I should just NOT answer with the TRUTH)... says something like, "well, YOU DID sign up for this ya know..." OK. PLEASE. STOP. RIGHT. THERE. I didn't "sign" anything but my marriage license. I "signed up" for this life by supporting my husband who is SAVING YOU and your sorry-self, family, friends who didn't "sign up". My husband "signed up" so you can say those things. (Again, this is only a rant, so please, don't take offense to any of this... just merely trying to help people understand things). Again, I didn't "sign up" for anything... and when you say things like that, it makes one think that I KNEW that there would be blackouts, that I KNEW that we would lose friends during this deployment, that I KNEW how hard this "lifestyle" can be... seriously?! Did I tell you "well, you signed up for that" if you lose a job, family member, or things don't go according to plan, or when you're just venting a bit? NO, I didn't, so don't tell me that either.
When communications are down, I've gotten, "well, why don't you just call/text him"... or when I freak out because my phone doesn't have service, or it dies, one says "don't worry, he'll leave you a message"... ok, first of all, the soldiers had to leave their phones here- I can't just "text/call" him when I want... I am one of those sorry people that sit by the computer or hold my phone all day/night just to make sure I don't miss him... and give me a break when I freak out about not wanting to miss his call/message... he's going through more things than I or you will ever know, and if he wants to talk to me, this is my job- to wait for him and be there for him- even if it's just to listen to him. You try going days without hearing ANYTHING from your loved one who is in a war-zone, and let me know how that goes for you... the waiting for that call/email/chat.
"He'll be back before you know it" or "it hasn't seemed THAT long..." ok... I've HONESTLY used this line to my military friends- it's something we say to try to help/encourage that time will keep moving... BUT it doesn't make it any easier. Yes, time DOES seem to go by quickly (at times), but those times that you wait, and wait, and wait, seem like weeks... and yes, at times, it doesn't seem like almost 8months ago I kissed/held my husband... but the reality is, it WAS about 8 months ago, and that's 8 months on ANY/ALL calendars... it's still a long time. I know come December, I'll be thinking "wow, that didn't seem THAT long," but half of that is plain denial, and a coping method, but I know I will never forget those days where I sat, praying to hear something.
When I was expecting Kenzie, I got a LOT of "well, won't he be able to come home for the birth? WHY can't he come home for her birth? I can't believe he's not going to be here for the birth..." For those of you who have had a child- did the birth go according to plan? Did you KNOW when you were going to have your baby? Probably not. My husband couldn't come home for her birth because there's a "time-frame" for the soldiers on when they might be able to come home, and as it is with the military, it's not set-in-stone. He couldn't come home for her birth because he was doing something that was bigger than himself and it's where he needed to be at this point in our lives. As for him not being here- he WAS here- he skyped the whole thing, and I've never felt so much more connected... and if we had it our way, he would have "been" here, but it is what it is... he obviously would've been here if he could have, but don't worry- he's an amazing dad and will be "here" for as much as he can for her life... he may not have "been here" for her birth but he will be here and completely involved in every part of her life, thanks.
I should stop with the ranting before I get ahead of myself... again, by no means am I trying to offend anyone, but more just venting about stuff in general... just try to think before you speak... :)
Throughout this deployment I have had many people say outlandish things to myself or my parents... and usually, I'm told things when people ASK me how I'm doing... when I answer "ok- I haven't heard from him in a few days, as we're on a blackout (meaning someone has been KIA)", or "ok, it's been hard the past few days"... that's USUALLY about the time when that person (who ASKED ME how I was doing- maybe I should just NOT answer with the TRUTH)... says something like, "well, YOU DID sign up for this ya know..." OK. PLEASE. STOP. RIGHT. THERE. I didn't "sign" anything but my marriage license. I "signed up" for this life by supporting my husband who is SAVING YOU and your sorry-self, family, friends who didn't "sign up". My husband "signed up" so you can say those things. (Again, this is only a rant, so please, don't take offense to any of this... just merely trying to help people understand things). Again, I didn't "sign up" for anything... and when you say things like that, it makes one think that I KNEW that there would be blackouts, that I KNEW that we would lose friends during this deployment, that I KNEW how hard this "lifestyle" can be... seriously?! Did I tell you "well, you signed up for that" if you lose a job, family member, or things don't go according to plan, or when you're just venting a bit? NO, I didn't, so don't tell me that either.
When communications are down, I've gotten, "well, why don't you just call/text him"... or when I freak out because my phone doesn't have service, or it dies, one says "don't worry, he'll leave you a message"... ok, first of all, the soldiers had to leave their phones here- I can't just "text/call" him when I want... I am one of those sorry people that sit by the computer or hold my phone all day/night just to make sure I don't miss him... and give me a break when I freak out about not wanting to miss his call/message... he's going through more things than I or you will ever know, and if he wants to talk to me, this is my job- to wait for him and be there for him- even if it's just to listen to him. You try going days without hearing ANYTHING from your loved one who is in a war-zone, and let me know how that goes for you... the waiting for that call/email/chat.
"He'll be back before you know it" or "it hasn't seemed THAT long..." ok... I've HONESTLY used this line to my military friends- it's something we say to try to help/encourage that time will keep moving... BUT it doesn't make it any easier. Yes, time DOES seem to go by quickly (at times), but those times that you wait, and wait, and wait, seem like weeks... and yes, at times, it doesn't seem like almost 8months ago I kissed/held my husband... but the reality is, it WAS about 8 months ago, and that's 8 months on ANY/ALL calendars... it's still a long time. I know come December, I'll be thinking "wow, that didn't seem THAT long," but half of that is plain denial, and a coping method, but I know I will never forget those days where I sat, praying to hear something.
When I was expecting Kenzie, I got a LOT of "well, won't he be able to come home for the birth? WHY can't he come home for her birth? I can't believe he's not going to be here for the birth..." For those of you who have had a child- did the birth go according to plan? Did you KNOW when you were going to have your baby? Probably not. My husband couldn't come home for her birth because there's a "time-frame" for the soldiers on when they might be able to come home, and as it is with the military, it's not set-in-stone. He couldn't come home for her birth because he was doing something that was bigger than himself and it's where he needed to be at this point in our lives. As for him not being here- he WAS here- he skyped the whole thing, and I've never felt so much more connected... and if we had it our way, he would have "been" here, but it is what it is... he obviously would've been here if he could have, but don't worry- he's an amazing dad and will be "here" for as much as he can for her life... he may not have "been here" for her birth but he will be here and completely involved in every part of her life, thanks.
I should stop with the ranting before I get ahead of myself... again, by no means am I trying to offend anyone, but more just venting about stuff in general... just try to think before you speak... :)
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