R&R

Good ole R&R... it's one of the BEST things EVER... but also one of the WORST. It's pretty much 2 weeks of pure bliss/another honeymoon, but then the entire time you're fighting the thoughts of SENDING HIM BACK TO WAR. Yep... that's it in a nut shell.

We had our RR right around 8.5months into the deployment. Caleb was able to meet Kenzie for the first time and she was 2.5-3months old. It was SUCH a special time. It's just one of those feelings you can't really describe to anyone who hasn't gone through it. I said "cya later" to my husband in an empty, dark parking lot on a cold December (early) morning. We both knew that could've been the last time we were together... fast forward nearly 9months after SO many things had changed for the both of us... I was in a white dress with a photographer friend, and another friend who had done an amazing job getting me dolled up for my special moment. I had a sign welcoming him home but completely threw it the wayside when I saw him walk towards me. LITERALLY, THE WORLD STOPPED TURNING. I promise... at least in my own small world. I can't tell you just how relieved I was to have him in my arms... to give him his daughter for the first time... to have him SEE HER and not just have me explain her little, perfect details. In that moment, MY world stopped and everything was perfect. I got my "first kiss" all over again. I had waited for this moment for so long and FINALLY got it. It was perfect. Those 2 weeks flew by and we fit in as much as we could- family, friends, catching up on 3/4 of a year, and trying to fit a lifetime worth of activities into 15 days. At that point of Caleb's deployment I was not naive anymore... I wasn't the wife that dropped him off in the parking lot and hoped the year to just fly by. Nope. We had several family friends KIA, several close friends who got "that knock on the door"... war changes things. I just kept trying to hold it all together and wish the next 3 months by. I honestly had prayed him home for RR so that he could just MEET his daughter. I remember going to a safety class before bringing Kenzie home and just thinking "there's no way this girl is going to make it to our RR"... I LITERALLY stayed up holding her every night while she slept in fear that she wasn't going to wake up and never meet her daddy. Yep-- I was crazy, but it's what I honestly thought. Then, he came home and met her and everything was perfect... and THEN I had to send him BACK a second time... it just sucked. BUT, thankfully, he came back to us. My 2nd miracle of the year. Truly.