In the military, it's common knowledge that you will spend a good amount of your life NOT with your spouse/significant other... yep. Our first year of marriage was spent states apart... I was living in Michigan, while he was in Oklahoma, and then Kentucky. Even though it was sad to be away from my best friend, we:
1. Never fought over the remote control and...
2. Had a 2nd, 3rd, 4th, etc honeymoon everytime we were together and spent the weekend with one another.
On my first visit to Kentucky, after seeing Caleb's "new digs", I was shocked at his "lifestyle"... he was LIVING in a HOTEL!! I had heard stories of soldiers living in barracks... not a hotel! Did I mention that this hotel had a continental breakfast, pool, workout room, AND roomservice (that included daily cleaning?!) WHAT?! How was it that I was living in a dark and dreary apartment with a cat, while he was living it up in a hotel?! NOT COOL.
My first morning, I was woken up to an alarm at 5:30am.. he was headed to PT, then came back for breakfast. After breakfast, he was off to work for a bit, so I was to enjoy movies and just relaxing in the hotel... about 9am, a knock on the door distracted me from some Maury-type drama talkshow... what the heck man... then, a cleaning lady walked in and said she had to clean the sheets AND dishes (I failed to mention his room had a kitchen)... I nicely told her that while she could give us new sheets, she was NOT ALLOWED TO TOUCH the pile of dishes in the sink... "he's married, and I can NOT have him getting used to coming home to washed dishes... thanks though". After she gave me a worried look and exclaimed that it was her JOB to wash the dishes, she realized that I wasn't budging on my request... for the remainder of the week I was there, she kindly gave me sheets and new towels... not sure if this lasted after I left, but I can assure you that Caleb DOES do his own dishes AND mine as well... or at least uses the dishwasher :)
Thursday, November 10, 2011
Welcome to Kentucky
Caleb's first orders were to Kansas. How did we end up in Kentucky then you ask? Short and simple- I cried... no, scratch that, I WAS HYSTERICAL. Earlier that year, Caleb flew me out to Oklahoma, which was HUGE because I'm terrified to fly. I was married, hadn't seen my husband in months and my mom "strongly encouraged" me to go visit... so, a few days later, I found myself on the plane, only to have the MOST AMAZING weekend... in the middle of No Where, Oklahoma. I do believe the best thing was a Walmart, Sonice, and about an hour away a few stores/mall and bar... it was fun just spending time with my man though.
After that, Caleb had a course in Kentucky. SWEET. I thought Oklahoma was bad, but then he was sent to Kentucky. Why didn't he get to go to a course in oh, say, Hawaii? Colorado at least?! Nope... we don't have the "luck" to get luxurious places... agh, well. I do believe they have courses in the middle of flippin' No Where, USA so that the soldiers have NOTHING ELSE TO DO besides work and complete their course with no troubles... whatev. Caleb, then asked me to come down for a visit to Kentucky for a weekend... I was a bit hesitant as I literally believed Kentucky was filled with "double H's" aka: horses (my BIGGEST fear in the WHOLE WORLD) and hicks... again, I was hesitant at the best, BUT he had just bought me a car, so figured I should at least visit the guy ;) (all kidding aside, I was ELATED to see my hubby!!)
I was making GREAT time on my trip to Kentucky... and was so geeked to brag about my awesome time since Caleb said it would take about 6.5-7hrs... I was GOING on 6hours when I crossed into KY. Then, I realized my breathing was quickening... and that's when I realized I was having my first panic attack... there were HORSES EVERYWHERE. No joke, as I was driving, there was a horse trailer with a horse that was looking AT ME as if to say "lady, I'm about to kick that door down and trample all over your car..." I looked at the next exit sign (to get away from said horse) only to realize Lexington was about 20minutes away... umm, that CAN'T be right. I quickly called Caleb's dad, only to be told that I was NOT going the right way. He said I MUST HAVE not followed the directions. First of all, I have been nothing but nice to my PASTOR father-in-law and have never lost my temper... but hello, I was LOST. IN. KENTUCKY. BY THE HORSE CAPITOL. I quickly stated the directions, and realized that indeed my knight in shining armor had said to go "East" instead of "West". What the crap man?! *side note: when I got to the hotel, Caleb asked what took me so long... without missing a beat, and saying nothing, I gave him the directions and asked if he noticed anything was wrong... you could see his "kick in the stomach" look on his face... I then told him I already visited the horse capitol today, THAT was why it took so long* :) On the phone with my father in law, this is what our conversation sounded like:
Me: Keith, I'm was being a good wife and FOLLOWING THE DIRECTIONS MY HUSBAND GAVE ME. I CAN'T BE LOST.
Keith: Sarah, you're lost... most definitely lost. You need to turn around, right now... I'm on google Earth and have found out where you're at... you're definitely lost (I already heard I was lost, DAD). ;)
Me: I'm on a HIGHWAY- there's no place to turn around...
Keith: look for a Michigan u-turn
Me: I'M IN FRICKEN' KENTUCKY.. NOT MICHIGAN... THERE ARE NO U-TURNS.
Keith: (as he sensed my voice was not only rising, but quivering), calmly stated to take the next exit. While he was telling me this, I was in the middle of going from 60mph to 10mph in a flat GRASSY median... yes, I looked around to make sure no cops were around...
Me: Ok, I already turned around...
Keith: See, if you were patient, I knew you'd find a u-turn... ;) Ok, so, you're going the right way now... you're going to drive about 30minutes, and then start looking for Exit 9. Call me when you get to Exit 15.
I sped, and believe I made the 30minute trip into 18ish minutes... called him back and said that I was at Exit 10.
Keith: ok, well I have to pull up googleEarth and refresh the page... (I'm still driving)...
Me: Keith, Keith... I'm at Exit 9- what do I do?
Keith: I'm not sure yet... I'm not at Exit 9 yet... hang on
Me: KEITH- I NEED TO KNOW... NOW.
Keith: uhhh...uh...
Me: well, I hope I didn't need to do anything- I passed Exit 9...
This conversation went on for a bit longer, and then I FINALLY found Fort Knox... WHEW!!
I got to Fort Knox, only to find that Caleb was still in the field, and lived in a HOTEL. What the hay man? I was living in a SUPER shady apartment across from this guy that I literally dodged every time I went to/from our place. Our first "trip" was to the commissary. I was IMMEDIATELY in love with the military life. I saw men in uniform getting groceries and THEN saw the (CHEAP!) prices... not sure how we were able to spend SO MUCH money on nothing we needed... on our way back to the hotel, Caleb pulled over and stopped as he faced "the center of post". I was chatting, and got what is best known as the "stink eye". Afterwards, he explained the meaning of the bugle, and that at certain times on post you WILL stop and face the middle of post to give respect. GOT IT. Again, I was in love- over just stopping to hear bugles!
Again, we had an AMAZING weekend. I was really sad to leave, but was going to be back in a few months... while back in Michigan, Caleb got his orders... we were going to... KANSAS!! I cried. I bawled... I was absolutely miserable. "I CAN'T GO TO KANSAS- THERE'S TORNADOES... THERE'S NOTHING THERE!" Needless to say, after a week of tears and worries, my husband switched orders with a friend, and we were going to Kentucky... I can deal with Kentucky, for sure. On the next trip down, (after realizing THIS would be our new "home") I saw a man DRIVING a lawn mower... on the road... as if it were a car. Oh my gosh... I'm in KENTUCKY!!!! Yes, I cried, again. I'm pretty sure Caleb thought I would just wake up one day and up and move myself BACK to Michigan... but I've loved living here... but that's probably because I don't go "off post" much... it's SCARY out "there"!! :)
After that, Caleb had a course in Kentucky. SWEET. I thought Oklahoma was bad, but then he was sent to Kentucky. Why didn't he get to go to a course in oh, say, Hawaii? Colorado at least?! Nope... we don't have the "luck" to get luxurious places... agh, well. I do believe they have courses in the middle of flippin' No Where, USA so that the soldiers have NOTHING ELSE TO DO besides work and complete their course with no troubles... whatev. Caleb, then asked me to come down for a visit to Kentucky for a weekend... I was a bit hesitant as I literally believed Kentucky was filled with "double H's" aka: horses (my BIGGEST fear in the WHOLE WORLD) and hicks... again, I was hesitant at the best, BUT he had just bought me a car, so figured I should at least visit the guy ;) (all kidding aside, I was ELATED to see my hubby!!)
I was making GREAT time on my trip to Kentucky... and was so geeked to brag about my awesome time since Caleb said it would take about 6.5-7hrs... I was GOING on 6hours when I crossed into KY. Then, I realized my breathing was quickening... and that's when I realized I was having my first panic attack... there were HORSES EVERYWHERE. No joke, as I was driving, there was a horse trailer with a horse that was looking AT ME as if to say "lady, I'm about to kick that door down and trample all over your car..." I looked at the next exit sign (to get away from said horse) only to realize Lexington was about 20minutes away... umm, that CAN'T be right. I quickly called Caleb's dad, only to be told that I was NOT going the right way. He said I MUST HAVE not followed the directions. First of all, I have been nothing but nice to my PASTOR father-in-law and have never lost my temper... but hello, I was LOST. IN. KENTUCKY. BY THE HORSE CAPITOL. I quickly stated the directions, and realized that indeed my knight in shining armor had said to go "East" instead of "West". What the crap man?! *side note: when I got to the hotel, Caleb asked what took me so long... without missing a beat, and saying nothing, I gave him the directions and asked if he noticed anything was wrong... you could see his "kick in the stomach" look on his face... I then told him I already visited the horse capitol today, THAT was why it took so long* :) On the phone with my father in law, this is what our conversation sounded like:
Me: Keith, I'm was being a good wife and FOLLOWING THE DIRECTIONS MY HUSBAND GAVE ME. I CAN'T BE LOST.
Keith: Sarah, you're lost... most definitely lost. You need to turn around, right now... I'm on google Earth and have found out where you're at... you're definitely lost (I already heard I was lost, DAD). ;)
Me: I'm on a HIGHWAY- there's no place to turn around...
Keith: look for a Michigan u-turn
Me: I'M IN FRICKEN' KENTUCKY.. NOT MICHIGAN... THERE ARE NO U-TURNS.
Keith: (as he sensed my voice was not only rising, but quivering), calmly stated to take the next exit. While he was telling me this, I was in the middle of going from 60mph to 10mph in a flat GRASSY median... yes, I looked around to make sure no cops were around...
Me: Ok, I already turned around...
Keith: See, if you were patient, I knew you'd find a u-turn... ;) Ok, so, you're going the right way now... you're going to drive about 30minutes, and then start looking for Exit 9. Call me when you get to Exit 15.
I sped, and believe I made the 30minute trip into 18ish minutes... called him back and said that I was at Exit 10.
Keith: ok, well I have to pull up googleEarth and refresh the page... (I'm still driving)...
Me: Keith, Keith... I'm at Exit 9- what do I do?
Keith: I'm not sure yet... I'm not at Exit 9 yet... hang on
Me: KEITH- I NEED TO KNOW... NOW.
Keith: uhhh...uh...
Me: well, I hope I didn't need to do anything- I passed Exit 9...
This conversation went on for a bit longer, and then I FINALLY found Fort Knox... WHEW!!
I got to Fort Knox, only to find that Caleb was still in the field, and lived in a HOTEL. What the hay man? I was living in a SUPER shady apartment across from this guy that I literally dodged every time I went to/from our place. Our first "trip" was to the commissary. I was IMMEDIATELY in love with the military life. I saw men in uniform getting groceries and THEN saw the (CHEAP!) prices... not sure how we were able to spend SO MUCH money on nothing we needed... on our way back to the hotel, Caleb pulled over and stopped as he faced "the center of post". I was chatting, and got what is best known as the "stink eye". Afterwards, he explained the meaning of the bugle, and that at certain times on post you WILL stop and face the middle of post to give respect. GOT IT. Again, I was in love- over just stopping to hear bugles!
Again, we had an AMAZING weekend. I was really sad to leave, but was going to be back in a few months... while back in Michigan, Caleb got his orders... we were going to... KANSAS!! I cried. I bawled... I was absolutely miserable. "I CAN'T GO TO KANSAS- THERE'S TORNADOES... THERE'S NOTHING THERE!" Needless to say, after a week of tears and worries, my husband switched orders with a friend, and we were going to Kentucky... I can deal with Kentucky, for sure. On the next trip down, (after realizing THIS would be our new "home") I saw a man DRIVING a lawn mower... on the road... as if it were a car. Oh my gosh... I'm in KENTUCKY!!!! Yes, I cried, again. I'm pretty sure Caleb thought I would just wake up one day and up and move myself BACK to Michigan... but I've loved living here... but that's probably because I don't go "off post" much... it's SCARY out "there"!! :)
Golf Glasses
I just got inside from the golf course... no, Caleb is not home. I got him a SWEET gift for his birthday, and yes, I already opened it (nice wife huh?!) but I just HAD to see if it worked. I'm grateful there were no MPs around, as they probably would've thought I was in the FBI. Imagine this, if you can: baby attached to my body and these big black sunglasses on looking for golf balls. No, I didn't wear these shades to just look inconspicuous, they're actually MADE to find golf balls!
Supposedly, these glasses are designed to block out everything so that golf balls just magically appear... I found a few range balls (in which I had to put back as Caleb would say "uh babe, c'mon those are RANGE balls- I can't use those...") with them, but while on my way to the ACTUAL golf course I realized the time change and figured out that I couldn't see a dang thing with the shades on... yes, I did look REALLY weird then. I haven't quite gotten up the guts to go to the golf course pond to dash-n-digup balls. However, this is a shout out to Bed Bath and Beyond's golf glasses- pretty cool- even if they didn't work, wouldn't YOU want to look like a member of the Blues Brothers?!
Supposedly, these glasses are designed to block out everything so that golf balls just magically appear... I found a few range balls (in which I had to put back as Caleb would say "uh babe, c'mon those are RANGE balls- I can't use those...") with them, but while on my way to the ACTUAL golf course I realized the time change and figured out that I couldn't see a dang thing with the shades on... yes, I did look REALLY weird then. I haven't quite gotten up the guts to go to the golf course pond to dash-n-digup balls. However, this is a shout out to Bed Bath and Beyond's golf glasses- pretty cool- even if they didn't work, wouldn't YOU want to look like a member of the Blues Brothers?!
Monday, August 1, 2011
July 31, 2011
DAD! CHECK YOUR CALENDAR AND FLIP IT! It's the LAST DAY OF JULY! YEAH! Tomorrow is AUGUST! I know I don't know the order of things yet, but I know that each day down is one closer to you being back home with us, and Mama's friends kept texting her (the military girls) getting all giddy about it being August... gotta love that they get excited about things like that huh? So, I guess I can be excited along with them right?!
We didn't make it to church- again :( Mama tried to set an alarm to get up, but got up really early this morning- went on the ellyptical, then fell back asleep, and I was sound asleep with her, and we completely slept through the first service, and we don't really like going to 2nd service JUST IN CASE you get online- we don't like missing you.
Mama, Grandpa, Grandma, and I went up to Great Grandma Lohman's house. Everyone wanted to see me, and once/twice a month the cousins/uncles/aunts try to get together at her house, so we went up for a few hours. Great Grandma held me for the longest, but shared (even though it was hard for her to let me go)- the last time Mama, Aunt Em, Nana, and I went up (when I was almost a month old) Great Grandma said she "wasn't done with Kenzie" when Mama said they should probably get going, so she told Grandpa HE had to tell her that we had to go... haha :) We had a nice time- Aunt Paula, her girls, Aunt Ronna, Rachel, Aunt Karen, Uncle Marshal, and their kids were there- people are busy, so not everyone was there, but it was nice- they all LOVE me and asked how you're doing... they all miss you a lot too.
We got home and I was REALLY tired, but my new "game" is to try to stay awake, BUT Mama knows the "game" and I just love when she lays me on her chest- I can't help but calm down and fall asleep, so that's what she did (I was SCREAMING) and as soon as I laid on her chest I immediately stopped and fell asleep... it gets me everytime... she has the "touch" people say... that, or she's just my Mama and I love that position... anyways... that was my day! It was a bit long, but seemed to go faster than the past few days just because we got your email! Thanks daddy- we know you try to get ahold of us when you can and you hate being on blackouts (not as much as we hate it, but we know it's a bummer) so we really appreciate you updating us when you can! You working out much? I'm still growing so you and Mama need to keep up- you have to hold me! :) I love you daddy- can't wait until you're home to snuggle with me (AND Mama- I guess she can join too)... but you better be ready to hold me- I won't want you to put me down that's for sure! Cya soon dad!
Love, love, love YOU!
Kenzie
We didn't make it to church- again :( Mama tried to set an alarm to get up, but got up really early this morning- went on the ellyptical, then fell back asleep, and I was sound asleep with her, and we completely slept through the first service, and we don't really like going to 2nd service JUST IN CASE you get online- we don't like missing you.
Mama, Grandpa, Grandma, and I went up to Great Grandma Lohman's house. Everyone wanted to see me, and once/twice a month the cousins/uncles/aunts try to get together at her house, so we went up for a few hours. Great Grandma held me for the longest, but shared (even though it was hard for her to let me go)- the last time Mama, Aunt Em, Nana, and I went up (when I was almost a month old) Great Grandma said she "wasn't done with Kenzie" when Mama said they should probably get going, so she told Grandpa HE had to tell her that we had to go... haha :) We had a nice time- Aunt Paula, her girls, Aunt Ronna, Rachel, Aunt Karen, Uncle Marshal, and their kids were there- people are busy, so not everyone was there, but it was nice- they all LOVE me and asked how you're doing... they all miss you a lot too.
We got home and I was REALLY tired, but my new "game" is to try to stay awake, BUT Mama knows the "game" and I just love when she lays me on her chest- I can't help but calm down and fall asleep, so that's what she did (I was SCREAMING) and as soon as I laid on her chest I immediately stopped and fell asleep... it gets me everytime... she has the "touch" people say... that, or she's just my Mama and I love that position... anyways... that was my day! It was a bit long, but seemed to go faster than the past few days just because we got your email! Thanks daddy- we know you try to get ahold of us when you can and you hate being on blackouts (not as much as we hate it, but we know it's a bummer) so we really appreciate you updating us when you can! You working out much? I'm still growing so you and Mama need to keep up- you have to hold me! :) I love you daddy- can't wait until you're home to snuggle with me (AND Mama- I guess she can join too)... but you better be ready to hold me- I won't want you to put me down that's for sure! Cya soon dad!
Love, love, love YOU!
Kenzie
July 30, 2011
HI DAD! Mama, I, and her friend, Lou (Palmer) went to the Farmer's Market this morning- Lou was up here for a week, and has been wanting to hang out with us, but it didn't work out until this morning. Mama's 2nd grade teacher held me for a bit which was nice- kind of hard to talk/catch up at the Market but it's ok. Then, Lou came over and held me for a bit. Mama and Uncle Nate played the kinect game for awhile... Mama and Uncle Nate returned pop bottles and got a hot-n-ready pizza for lunch (even though Mama can't eat it), but everyone thought it was really nice because they were all doing stuff, but Mama wanted everyone to take a break and be together....THEN, Mama and Nana went to see Horrible Boss' while Uncle Nate and Grandpa saw Captain America. I guess Nana has an 'immature sense of humor' because they keep making fun of her- she really liked Hangover, and thought Horrible Boss' was hilarious (which Mama said it had it's really funny parts, but some of it was pretty 'immature'- not that Mama is THAT mature haha lol)... they enjoyed themselves while I stayed home with Great Aunt Jean. I like when she watches me because she WON'T put me down (she doesn't want me to cry) so I get to be held the ENTIRE TIME of however long they're all gone for- hehe.
When they got home, I got to go over to Grandma's house for a bit. She held me almost the whole time too! I got to play with my sister Daisy... I saw Panzer, but Panzer just kind of sniffs me, looks at me, and just stares- Daisy at least gives me kisses... ;) I had a really nice day being held by everyone for the majority of the day and dreaming about YOU! I LOVE YOU DADDY! CYA SOON!
Love,
Kenz
When they got home, I got to go over to Grandma's house for a bit. She held me almost the whole time too! I got to play with my sister Daisy... I saw Panzer, but Panzer just kind of sniffs me, looks at me, and just stares- Daisy at least gives me kisses... ;) I had a really nice day being held by everyone for the majority of the day and dreaming about YOU! I LOVE YOU DADDY! CYA SOON!
Love,
Kenz
July 29, 2011
Hi Daddy! How's everything going? We miss you like CRAZY! Mama always gets worried when she doesn't hear from you- worried, and she misses you THAT MUCH MORE.. so do I... but it's ok, because we pray so much/so often/so hard ALL THE TIME for YOU and everyone with you... Mama prays, and I listen- we seriously pray at least once an hour... it calms us both down a lot. :) Your guys' friend, Eliesha Delmastro sent Mama a text message saying she heard from her husband (Travis) that he sent her an email right before the blackout happened that said "Lohman and I are ok"... which was so nice just hearing- glad you both keep us up-to-date as best as you can and are looking out for each other. :)
Mama and I hung out all day and got things done around the house- ran some errands, and just rested a bit. Uncle Nate and Mama went for a run/bike ride (Uncle Nate decided he needed to encourage her while running) so he rode alongside Mama while she ran- she ran 5miles! Not too shabby after having me huh? She didn't stop either- I guess it was all that frustration she had lol... she hasn't ran with me in the jogging stroller because she said she has to get back up to her "old running" time/strength first... makes sense, but I'm sure soon enough she'll take me- she hates not being with me... probably because she thinks she's hanging out with you because I'm your mini-me LOL ;) We can't wait to hear from you daddy- EVERYONE is asking about you and waiting for you to come home! We LOVE YOU!
Love,
Kenzie girl
Mama and I hung out all day and got things done around the house- ran some errands, and just rested a bit. Uncle Nate and Mama went for a run/bike ride (Uncle Nate decided he needed to encourage her while running) so he rode alongside Mama while she ran- she ran 5miles! Not too shabby after having me huh? She didn't stop either- I guess it was all that frustration she had lol... she hasn't ran with me in the jogging stroller because she said she has to get back up to her "old running" time/strength first... makes sense, but I'm sure soon enough she'll take me- she hates not being with me... probably because she thinks she's hanging out with you because I'm your mini-me LOL ;) We can't wait to hear from you daddy- EVERYONE is asking about you and waiting for you to come home! We LOVE YOU!
Love,
Kenzie girl
Sunday, July 31, 2011
CAUTION: *rant ahead*
I know that there have been plenty of times where I've opened my mouth, and should've kept it shut as shortly afterwards, inserted my foot into my mouth. I also know there have been times in which I've said things to military members and not thought twice until I've been in that situation... but how about I save people the mistake of some people...
Throughout this deployment I have had many people say outlandish things to myself or my parents... and usually, I'm told things when people ASK me how I'm doing... when I answer "ok- I haven't heard from him in a few days, as we're on a blackout (meaning someone has been KIA)", or "ok, it's been hard the past few days"... that's USUALLY about the time when that person (who ASKED ME how I was doing- maybe I should just NOT answer with the TRUTH)... says something like, "well, YOU DID sign up for this ya know..." OK. PLEASE. STOP. RIGHT. THERE. I didn't "sign" anything but my marriage license. I "signed up" for this life by supporting my husband who is SAVING YOU and your sorry-self, family, friends who didn't "sign up". My husband "signed up" so you can say those things. (Again, this is only a rant, so please, don't take offense to any of this... just merely trying to help people understand things). Again, I didn't "sign up" for anything... and when you say things like that, it makes one think that I KNEW that there would be blackouts, that I KNEW that we would lose friends during this deployment, that I KNEW how hard this "lifestyle" can be... seriously?! Did I tell you "well, you signed up for that" if you lose a job, family member, or things don't go according to plan, or when you're just venting a bit? NO, I didn't, so don't tell me that either.
When communications are down, I've gotten, "well, why don't you just call/text him"... or when I freak out because my phone doesn't have service, or it dies, one says "don't worry, he'll leave you a message"... ok, first of all, the soldiers had to leave their phones here- I can't just "text/call" him when I want... I am one of those sorry people that sit by the computer or hold my phone all day/night just to make sure I don't miss him... and give me a break when I freak out about not wanting to miss his call/message... he's going through more things than I or you will ever know, and if he wants to talk to me, this is my job- to wait for him and be there for him- even if it's just to listen to him. You try going days without hearing ANYTHING from your loved one who is in a war-zone, and let me know how that goes for you... the waiting for that call/email/chat.
"He'll be back before you know it" or "it hasn't seemed THAT long..." ok... I've HONESTLY used this line to my military friends- it's something we say to try to help/encourage that time will keep moving... BUT it doesn't make it any easier. Yes, time DOES seem to go by quickly (at times), but those times that you wait, and wait, and wait, seem like weeks... and yes, at times, it doesn't seem like almost 8months ago I kissed/held my husband... but the reality is, it WAS about 8 months ago, and that's 8 months on ANY/ALL calendars... it's still a long time. I know come December, I'll be thinking "wow, that didn't seem THAT long," but half of that is plain denial, and a coping method, but I know I will never forget those days where I sat, praying to hear something.
When I was expecting Kenzie, I got a LOT of "well, won't he be able to come home for the birth? WHY can't he come home for her birth? I can't believe he's not going to be here for the birth..." For those of you who have had a child- did the birth go according to plan? Did you KNOW when you were going to have your baby? Probably not. My husband couldn't come home for her birth because there's a "time-frame" for the soldiers on when they might be able to come home, and as it is with the military, it's not set-in-stone. He couldn't come home for her birth because he was doing something that was bigger than himself and it's where he needed to be at this point in our lives. As for him not being here- he WAS here- he skyped the whole thing, and I've never felt so much more connected... and if we had it our way, he would have "been" here, but it is what it is... he obviously would've been here if he could have, but don't worry- he's an amazing dad and will be "here" for as much as he can for her life... he may not have "been here" for her birth but he will be here and completely involved in every part of her life, thanks.
I should stop with the ranting before I get ahead of myself... again, by no means am I trying to offend anyone, but more just venting about stuff in general... just try to think before you speak... :)
Throughout this deployment I have had many people say outlandish things to myself or my parents... and usually, I'm told things when people ASK me how I'm doing... when I answer "ok- I haven't heard from him in a few days, as we're on a blackout (meaning someone has been KIA)", or "ok, it's been hard the past few days"... that's USUALLY about the time when that person (who ASKED ME how I was doing- maybe I should just NOT answer with the TRUTH)... says something like, "well, YOU DID sign up for this ya know..." OK. PLEASE. STOP. RIGHT. THERE. I didn't "sign" anything but my marriage license. I "signed up" for this life by supporting my husband who is SAVING YOU and your sorry-self, family, friends who didn't "sign up". My husband "signed up" so you can say those things. (Again, this is only a rant, so please, don't take offense to any of this... just merely trying to help people understand things). Again, I didn't "sign up" for anything... and when you say things like that, it makes one think that I KNEW that there would be blackouts, that I KNEW that we would lose friends during this deployment, that I KNEW how hard this "lifestyle" can be... seriously?! Did I tell you "well, you signed up for that" if you lose a job, family member, or things don't go according to plan, or when you're just venting a bit? NO, I didn't, so don't tell me that either.
When communications are down, I've gotten, "well, why don't you just call/text him"... or when I freak out because my phone doesn't have service, or it dies, one says "don't worry, he'll leave you a message"... ok, first of all, the soldiers had to leave their phones here- I can't just "text/call" him when I want... I am one of those sorry people that sit by the computer or hold my phone all day/night just to make sure I don't miss him... and give me a break when I freak out about not wanting to miss his call/message... he's going through more things than I or you will ever know, and if he wants to talk to me, this is my job- to wait for him and be there for him- even if it's just to listen to him. You try going days without hearing ANYTHING from your loved one who is in a war-zone, and let me know how that goes for you... the waiting for that call/email/chat.
"He'll be back before you know it" or "it hasn't seemed THAT long..." ok... I've HONESTLY used this line to my military friends- it's something we say to try to help/encourage that time will keep moving... BUT it doesn't make it any easier. Yes, time DOES seem to go by quickly (at times), but those times that you wait, and wait, and wait, seem like weeks... and yes, at times, it doesn't seem like almost 8months ago I kissed/held my husband... but the reality is, it WAS about 8 months ago, and that's 8 months on ANY/ALL calendars... it's still a long time. I know come December, I'll be thinking "wow, that didn't seem THAT long," but half of that is plain denial, and a coping method, but I know I will never forget those days where I sat, praying to hear something.
When I was expecting Kenzie, I got a LOT of "well, won't he be able to come home for the birth? WHY can't he come home for her birth? I can't believe he's not going to be here for the birth..." For those of you who have had a child- did the birth go according to plan? Did you KNOW when you were going to have your baby? Probably not. My husband couldn't come home for her birth because there's a "time-frame" for the soldiers on when they might be able to come home, and as it is with the military, it's not set-in-stone. He couldn't come home for her birth because he was doing something that was bigger than himself and it's where he needed to be at this point in our lives. As for him not being here- he WAS here- he skyped the whole thing, and I've never felt so much more connected... and if we had it our way, he would have "been" here, but it is what it is... he obviously would've been here if he could have, but don't worry- he's an amazing dad and will be "here" for as much as he can for her life... he may not have "been here" for her birth but he will be here and completely involved in every part of her life, thanks.
I should stop with the ranting before I get ahead of myself... again, by no means am I trying to offend anyone, but more just venting about stuff in general... just try to think before you speak... :)
Thursday, July 14, 2011
Kenzie
Whoa- WHERE HAS THE TIME GONE!? Praise the LORD... seriously. This deployment NEEDS to get going! Kenzie arrived a month (and a day) ago... she's been such a blessing, and has helped make this year go a bit faster- that, or maybe I just don't even know if it's day/night or WHAT day it really is... phew, this mama needs some serious sleep! I hear I'll get "sleep" in like 18 years... but, I'm 24 and I know MY mom STILL stays up and worries about me if I'm out, traveling, etc... sooo, cool, it was nice knowing you "sleep"!... jk... I love EVERY minute with her- even those 3am feedings where my eyes are about to pop out of my head as I'm looking at the clock to make sure I didn't JUST put her back to sleep... I swear, there's been PLENTY of times where I hear her cry and I'm like "no way... I JUST put you to sleep..." (checks the clock) "no way... it IS time for you to eat"... yup, even THOSE moments I just love, love, love.
I absolutely adore Kenzie- I can't help but catch myself starting at her for 45minutes (and Caleb wonders WHAT we "do" during the day... hmmm, does "staring at our baby for hours on end" count as SOMETHING?) I just love it though... and love every single part of her, but that could also be because she's a mini-me of Caleb... yeah, no joke. Her eyes haven't changed, and we're still waiting on her hair color to "decide" what it's going to be... but besides that, she has his nose, his eyes, ears, face, etc... she has my lips and that's about it... I guess she also has a bit of my "stubborn-ness"- but I'm pretty proud of the fact that I'm still MORE stubborn than she is, which helps in those times of her apparently STARVING (even though she JUST ate) but yet spits her formula out and "giggles"... *insert bottle BACK into the mouth* "girlfriend, I know you're hungry- it's 3:30am and you NEED to eat this"... *spits out more formula and "giggles"... "oh no... I KNOW you're hungry- I know it's not AS WARM as you'd like, but seriously..." *after about 5-10minutes of this, ding ding ding- MAMA WINS! as Kenzie finishes the entire bottle*. She also apparently has allergy issues-- just like me... whooo, yeah, she has the BEST qualities of me... psh. How come I carried her and was sick almost every day and she looks JUST LIKE Caleb?! jk... REALLY, I LOVE every part of her... especially those times when I'm REALLY missing my better half (her "twin") and all I have to do is look at her, see her daddy, and then realize just how blessed we are... aghhhhhhhhhhh... love, love, love it.
I absolutely adore Kenzie- I can't help but catch myself starting at her for 45minutes (and Caleb wonders WHAT we "do" during the day... hmmm, does "staring at our baby for hours on end" count as SOMETHING?) I just love it though... and love every single part of her, but that could also be because she's a mini-me of Caleb... yeah, no joke. Her eyes haven't changed, and we're still waiting on her hair color to "decide" what it's going to be... but besides that, she has his nose, his eyes, ears, face, etc... she has my lips and that's about it... I guess she also has a bit of my "stubborn-ness"- but I'm pretty proud of the fact that I'm still MORE stubborn than she is, which helps in those times of her apparently STARVING (even though she JUST ate) but yet spits her formula out and "giggles"... *insert bottle BACK into the mouth* "girlfriend, I know you're hungry- it's 3:30am and you NEED to eat this"... *spits out more formula and "giggles"... "oh no... I KNOW you're hungry- I know it's not AS WARM as you'd like, but seriously..." *after about 5-10minutes of this, ding ding ding- MAMA WINS! as Kenzie finishes the entire bottle*. She also apparently has allergy issues-- just like me... whooo, yeah, she has the BEST qualities of me... psh. How come I carried her and was sick almost every day and she looks JUST LIKE Caleb?! jk... REALLY, I LOVE every part of her... especially those times when I'm REALLY missing my better half (her "twin") and all I have to do is look at her, see her daddy, and then realize just how blessed we are... aghhhhhhhhhhh... love, love, love it.
Thursday, May 26, 2011
"No news is good news"
The phrase "no news is good news" is definitely over-rated... I never fully understood this whole concept until Caleb deployed. Since December, this is the ONE phrase that I would just like to throw out the window... it's true, but at the same point, it seriously sucks, and I feel that over the past 5 months, this quote has been more present than ever...
Caleb deployed with over 3000 other soldiers to Afghanistan between December and January. As I've said before, I don't know ALL of these men and women, or their families, but I "know" them... I know the hardships they're facing, and to some extent, I know of them... someone I know really knows them. When the worst-possible thing can happen during a deployment, we go on a "blackout"... for those that are in the military, a blackout is one of the worst things to deal with. Blackouts can last anywhere between a few hours to a week or more... I can't even begin to describe all the emotions that come with a blackout. Anger, fear, guilt, hope, sorrow, worry, doubt, dread, anxiousness, etc... Someone, somewhere is receiving the worst possible news... my heart skips a beat every time my phone rings or heaven forbid someone drives down my street/towards my house, or even worse, comes innocently to my parent's house... we've been on at least 2 hands-worth of "blackouts" this deployment alone, and it never gets any easier.
Some ask how I know we're on a blackout.. well, when you have spouses back here waiting every single day to hear from their loved ones, there comes a certain time in the day where if you don't hear from them, you start to ask other wives if they've heard anything. Once you get to more than a handful of wives that haven't heard from their soldier (out of all the units we sent from Fort Knox) we know what it is. So, this is what it is to wait... waiting for some type of news- any news, from anyone really. We all text each other back and forth like crazy, and go on facebook for ANY sort of communication from any husband deployed. We just wait... and that's the hardest. I can't even begin to tell you how many text messages I've gotten from wives, how many times I've looked at the clock and realized that it's been 2minutes since the last time I checked, how many times I've hit the "refresh" button on FB, my email, or FB chat to see if there's been ANYTHING. My stomach is in knots, my head hurts, and I've been fighting back tears all day just waiting. I can't even begin to describe my chats with God today... almost begging or making some type of bargains with Him... I have never prayed so much or so hard in my entire life, but throughout this deployment, it's the one thing that I still find comforting (besides the times I'm talking to Caleb)... I know God is in complete control of things, and I just need more faith at times, but in these times, I'm still trying to find faith... and still trying to hold on to the hope and faith that I have left, but at times it still doesn't seem enough. Caleb uses the "no news is good news", as well as many of our friends and family... and while the saying comes from the military (and especially during "blackout" times), hearing it said aloud doesn't make it any easier. At some point, SOMEONE is going to get news... and while the waiting for "no news" or ANY news is hard, it's almost harder KNOWING... knowing that someone has given their life for our freedom, that someone has been told the worst news possible, and at times, it's someone my husband and I know. It just hits way too close to home- even if it's not a soldier my husband works/lives with, it's a soldier that we "know"...
When a blackout is lifted, the people not directly involved take a huge sigh of relief, and can actually breathe again... we're able to finally talk with our husbands, and we all start texting each other letting the others know, that we've heard from our loved one, and that all is well b/c "no news is good news" until we hear from them... however, upon talking with our husbands, we hear what happened, and know why we were on a blackout and that's when the reality sets in... it may not have been us, but it IS someone we know... and then we get the phone calls and mass emails about a memorial service, or the family involved, or how we can help... it just saddens me and again, hits too close to home. My husband whom I love with all my heart and is my entire world is still over there, fighting for us, for those "over there", and fighting for his life. 5 months "down" with this deployment, and two-handfuls of "blackouts" and it doesn't get easier... in fact, I think it just gets harder... it's one day closer to being with my beloved, but it's also another day that he's over there and not here...
Caleb deployed with over 3000 other soldiers to Afghanistan between December and January. As I've said before, I don't know ALL of these men and women, or their families, but I "know" them... I know the hardships they're facing, and to some extent, I know of them... someone I know really knows them. When the worst-possible thing can happen during a deployment, we go on a "blackout"... for those that are in the military, a blackout is one of the worst things to deal with. Blackouts can last anywhere between a few hours to a week or more... I can't even begin to describe all the emotions that come with a blackout. Anger, fear, guilt, hope, sorrow, worry, doubt, dread, anxiousness, etc... Someone, somewhere is receiving the worst possible news... my heart skips a beat every time my phone rings or heaven forbid someone drives down my street/towards my house, or even worse, comes innocently to my parent's house... we've been on at least 2 hands-worth of "blackouts" this deployment alone, and it never gets any easier.
Some ask how I know we're on a blackout.. well, when you have spouses back here waiting every single day to hear from their loved ones, there comes a certain time in the day where if you don't hear from them, you start to ask other wives if they've heard anything. Once you get to more than a handful of wives that haven't heard from their soldier (out of all the units we sent from Fort Knox) we know what it is. So, this is what it is to wait... waiting for some type of news- any news, from anyone really. We all text each other back and forth like crazy, and go on facebook for ANY sort of communication from any husband deployed. We just wait... and that's the hardest. I can't even begin to tell you how many text messages I've gotten from wives, how many times I've looked at the clock and realized that it's been 2minutes since the last time I checked, how many times I've hit the "refresh" button on FB, my email, or FB chat to see if there's been ANYTHING. My stomach is in knots, my head hurts, and I've been fighting back tears all day just waiting. I can't even begin to describe my chats with God today... almost begging or making some type of bargains with Him... I have never prayed so much or so hard in my entire life, but throughout this deployment, it's the one thing that I still find comforting (besides the times I'm talking to Caleb)... I know God is in complete control of things, and I just need more faith at times, but in these times, I'm still trying to find faith... and still trying to hold on to the hope and faith that I have left, but at times it still doesn't seem enough. Caleb uses the "no news is good news", as well as many of our friends and family... and while the saying comes from the military (and especially during "blackout" times), hearing it said aloud doesn't make it any easier. At some point, SOMEONE is going to get news... and while the waiting for "no news" or ANY news is hard, it's almost harder KNOWING... knowing that someone has given their life for our freedom, that someone has been told the worst news possible, and at times, it's someone my husband and I know. It just hits way too close to home- even if it's not a soldier my husband works/lives with, it's a soldier that we "know"...
When a blackout is lifted, the people not directly involved take a huge sigh of relief, and can actually breathe again... we're able to finally talk with our husbands, and we all start texting each other letting the others know, that we've heard from our loved one, and that all is well b/c "no news is good news" until we hear from them... however, upon talking with our husbands, we hear what happened, and know why we were on a blackout and that's when the reality sets in... it may not have been us, but it IS someone we know... and then we get the phone calls and mass emails about a memorial service, or the family involved, or how we can help... it just saddens me and again, hits too close to home. My husband whom I love with all my heart and is my entire world is still over there, fighting for us, for those "over there", and fighting for his life. 5 months "down" with this deployment, and two-handfuls of "blackouts" and it doesn't get easier... in fact, I think it just gets harder... it's one day closer to being with my beloved, but it's also another day that he's over there and not here...
Monday, May 16, 2011
"I just realized what meat really is..."
I have realized that the past blogs have been completely venting, complaining, and not really "like me"... however, I am attributing it completely to my better half being gone- the one whom I share everything with... and being sick with CRAZY pregnant hormones raging... BUT while chatting with my sister the other day I was reminded on one of my "better moments"... so here goes, but please, don't judge me... I'm sharing this openly with you all hoping that someone finds a bit of humor in it... yes, it's ok to laugh AT me...
Last year I was reading a story about a vegetarian woman in one of my magazines... when all of a sudden I read something about meat being muscle... I literally stopped breathing... I felt as if I had been lied to my entire life by NOT really knowing "what meat was"... true- I KNEW what meat was, I just didn't really THINK about it... I think of it as being, or wanting to be naive about it all, so just refused to think about what I was eating... however, it blew me away... just KNOWING that meat was in fact muscle... I quick called Caleb and texted my sister... who has since saved this text so that I can share it with you... "Sarah:OH MY GOSH!!! I am going vegetarian...no joke... I JUST realized what meat really is... muscle?!?! Are you freakin for real?! I feel like I have been lied to my whole entire life... oh my gosh, oh my gosh... freaking out right now..." TWO seconds later (I really don't even know how the girl read the text that fast) my phone rang with my sister and her friends/colleagues hysterically laughing... my sister was absolutely appalled that I had "just realized" what meat was... thanks for the support Em! Again, I really did know what meat is/was... but just didn't really THINK about it... later that night Caleb came home from work only to further my fear of meat... when I was talking to him about my "epiphany" he quick grabbed Daisy's leg and said "babe, it's just like taking a bite out of her sweet little leg..." REALLY CALEB?! I ran out of the room only to have Caleb laughing so loudly chasing me around the house, hugging me and saying he loved me and was sorry... about a month after that whole ordeal, (at this point I WAS eating meat, but only chicken and it had to be cut a certain way, and there was NO THOUGHT involved while eating... just eat, chew, swallow...) Caleb and I were out to dinner- I had an AWESOME salad with grilled chicken on top- he had finished his dinner and really wanted to try my salad, but I wasn't about to share, as it was THAT good... sooo, what does he say? with a sparkle in his eye and a huge grin on his face..."How's that muscle salad babe!?" I couldn't help but laugh (gag a little) and pass the plate to him... who thoroughly enjoyed the leftover salad... again, I am TELLING you that I really did know what meat was... just chose not to think about it... I still have a bit of a hard time when I THINK about it... but oh well... at least it's out of our Caleb and I's system... but mark my words, if ANYONE EVER tells Kenzie and our other children what they're eating I will go NUTS on you... ;)
Last year I was reading a story about a vegetarian woman in one of my magazines... when all of a sudden I read something about meat being muscle... I literally stopped breathing... I felt as if I had been lied to my entire life by NOT really knowing "what meat was"... true- I KNEW what meat was, I just didn't really THINK about it... I think of it as being, or wanting to be naive about it all, so just refused to think about what I was eating... however, it blew me away... just KNOWING that meat was in fact muscle... I quick called Caleb and texted my sister... who has since saved this text so that I can share it with you... "Sarah:OH MY GOSH!!! I am going vegetarian...no joke... I JUST realized what meat really is... muscle?!?! Are you freakin for real?! I feel like I have been lied to my whole entire life... oh my gosh, oh my gosh... freaking out right now..." TWO seconds later (I really don't even know how the girl read the text that fast) my phone rang with my sister and her friends/colleagues hysterically laughing... my sister was absolutely appalled that I had "just realized" what meat was... thanks for the support Em! Again, I really did know what meat is/was... but just didn't really THINK about it... later that night Caleb came home from work only to further my fear of meat... when I was talking to him about my "epiphany" he quick grabbed Daisy's leg and said "babe, it's just like taking a bite out of her sweet little leg..." REALLY CALEB?! I ran out of the room only to have Caleb laughing so loudly chasing me around the house, hugging me and saying he loved me and was sorry... about a month after that whole ordeal, (at this point I WAS eating meat, but only chicken and it had to be cut a certain way, and there was NO THOUGHT involved while eating... just eat, chew, swallow...) Caleb and I were out to dinner- I had an AWESOME salad with grilled chicken on top- he had finished his dinner and really wanted to try my salad, but I wasn't about to share, as it was THAT good... sooo, what does he say? with a sparkle in his eye and a huge grin on his face..."How's that muscle salad babe!?" I couldn't help but laugh (gag a little) and pass the plate to him... who thoroughly enjoyed the leftover salad... again, I am TELLING you that I really did know what meat was... just chose not to think about it... I still have a bit of a hard time when I THINK about it... but oh well... at least it's out of our Caleb and I's system... but mark my words, if ANYONE EVER tells Kenzie and our other children what they're eating I will go NUTS on you... ;)
I'm not questioning God... just curious...
I am trying to look at things positively, I really am, but I just can't help but think about why things happen to such wonderful people. I know God is in complete control and has a plan for everyone and EVERYTHING happens for a reason... but really? Sometimes I just get so frustrated and my heart breaks for so many people who have things happen to them... I just don't understand. I'm not blaming God or questioning him by ANY means, but just kind of curious... and have been praying the past few days that I have a change of heart about things...
I don't understand why so many of my closest friends have tried for years to have a baby, and have either miscarried several times, or just aren't able to... while so many other people could care less, take having babies for granted, or put up their own roadblocks and complain all the way about "why them"... my heart breaks for so many of my friends who are going through this as I know what they're going through...
I don't understand why there are so many soldiers who are risking everything they have to serve and protect us... while there are so many people who sit home with their lives completely untouched and complain about the many freedoms/rights that they have- and yet they abuse their rights, or criticize those who are fighting everyday for them... without wanting or needing a "thanks"...
I don't understand why some people work several jobs and many long hours a week, to provide for their families- doing the best that they can and yet it's just "not good enough" at times... and yet those same people that go out of their way to help others, get nothing in return...
I don't understand how some people complain about simple things and get their way, while others don't complain at all, and just try to take things in stride get the shaft.
I don't understand how the divorce rate can be so high, and how so many people can complain about their relationships with their spouse, while my husband and I (as well as many other military marriages) are doing all that we can just to savor every moment, letter, call, or word spoken to and are more in love than ever...
I don't understand how the people who I admire, respect, and love the most get hurt over and over again... my heart breaks for those people who just "take it day by day" and truly appreciate everything they have been given, and truly look for the good in every situation, while there are others who just seem to have life so easy... I know, I have NOT walked in the shoes of anyone but myself, but really, it just breaks my heart that so many people I know are hurting, but not complaining, yet I have others who are happy to rub their happiness in the faces of those same people hurting... aghhhh enough for my vent.
I don't understand why so many of my closest friends have tried for years to have a baby, and have either miscarried several times, or just aren't able to... while so many other people could care less, take having babies for granted, or put up their own roadblocks and complain all the way about "why them"... my heart breaks for so many of my friends who are going through this as I know what they're going through...
I don't understand why there are so many soldiers who are risking everything they have to serve and protect us... while there are so many people who sit home with their lives completely untouched and complain about the many freedoms/rights that they have- and yet they abuse their rights, or criticize those who are fighting everyday for them... without wanting or needing a "thanks"...
I don't understand why some people work several jobs and many long hours a week, to provide for their families- doing the best that they can and yet it's just "not good enough" at times... and yet those same people that go out of their way to help others, get nothing in return...
I don't understand how some people complain about simple things and get their way, while others don't complain at all, and just try to take things in stride get the shaft.
I don't understand how the divorce rate can be so high, and how so many people can complain about their relationships with their spouse, while my husband and I (as well as many other military marriages) are doing all that we can just to savor every moment, letter, call, or word spoken to and are more in love than ever...
I don't understand how the people who I admire, respect, and love the most get hurt over and over again... my heart breaks for those people who just "take it day by day" and truly appreciate everything they have been given, and truly look for the good in every situation, while there are others who just seem to have life so easy... I know, I have NOT walked in the shoes of anyone but myself, but really, it just breaks my heart that so many people I know are hurting, but not complaining, yet I have others who are happy to rub their happiness in the faces of those same people hurting... aghhhh enough for my vent.
Monday, May 9, 2011
Has justice really been served?
Last week America heard about the killing of Osama Bin Laden, and as a military wife, many have asked "how I (or my husband) feel about it" or "how I think it's going to affect the war"... well, I can't answer either of those questions to be frank... and many people in the similar situation as myself find myself at a loss for words or answers when it comes to that topic. What I can say is that Osama Bin Laden was the murderer of over 3,000 innocent people just alone on September 11... I can also guarantee that if he knew where you or your family was, he would in fact take you out without second guessing anything. He took it upon himself to kill thousands and thousands of people before and after September 11. However, he is not the only one who is killing innocent people... Al Qaeda is still prominent in many areas, and the followers of them are around the entire world still scheming of things.
When news broke of his death, at first I was relieved and almost giddy with excitement- but that was short lived as about 1 minute after, I was shaken and couldn't sleep... my husband and many others are still in Afghanistan fighting a war saving so many innocent people abroad, as well as many of us who are living each day without a worry or care... Osama Bin Laden is just one person- yes, he was a "big leader", but the people who followed him are still around... we are still at war. The night the news came out, it seemed like everyone on facebook had some sort of opinion about the news- I didn't agree with some of their opinions as it seems they truly had no idea who this murderer was or what he did, or who in fact should get credit for the death of him. As news continued to trickle out and different stories of his death, his burial, and the people who were involved came about, many people again began to spout off different opinions... I was still indifferent about the whole situation... as relieved as I should've been, I was almost more scared and uneasy about everything.
First of all, let me remind you that regardless of your political party, or if you care for President Obama, HE was not there putting his life on the line- it was our soldiers who have continued to take it upon themselves to make the world a better place- THAT is where credit is due and needed- our soldiers DESERVE the credit... we have been at war for 10 years and this was indeed a "victory" for them... THEY deserve the credit. So many countless citizens have died fighting, while many people over here are giving credit to our President- who wait a second, wasn't it last month was almost freezing their pay? Regardless of if they were paid or not, they would still be over there... so, again, let's remember to give credit where credit is due- to our service-members who have, who are, and who will continue to fight.
Secondly, YOU have an opinion and are able to spout off your mouth about how you feel about this whole situation BECAUSE of my husband and those serving alongside him (and who have served before)... if you are a woman and lived where Osama Bin Laden was you wouldn't have a say- as a woman you have no rights, you have no voice, and quite honestly, you have no reason to be alive. I understand people were excited to hear about the death of Osama Bin Laden, BUT going out in the streets and celebrating? Really? Wasn't it Osama Bin Laden who in fact went out and celebrated the deaths of all those innocent lives lost on September 11? Let's not "stoop" to his level... celebrate if you wish, but do so in an appropriate matter- actions speak louder than words, and those celebrating in the streets are only enticing the Al Qaeda followers- again, my husband, and many others are still in an unsafe area fighting against those people who are watching and waiting for us to make a move. I'm not saying that you can't celebrate- go ahead and celebrate- surely, this is a job well done and something that was needed, as well as his death was well deserved for all those fighting- it was "justice" for those that needed it and a sense of "closure" to those that sought it for the attacks on September 11, but remember, YOU have the right to celebrate in a MODEST way- going out in the streets hooting and hollering like the murderer we killed, is not the "right" way...
I'm still torn on this whole situation, so if you're looking for my answers I have nothing. I'm just saying to remember about those who have served, who are serving, and who will serve. PRAY for them, as they're in more of an "unknowing/unsafe" area than ever before. Be THANKFUL for all the rights that you have as an American citizen.
When news broke of his death, at first I was relieved and almost giddy with excitement- but that was short lived as about 1 minute after, I was shaken and couldn't sleep... my husband and many others are still in Afghanistan fighting a war saving so many innocent people abroad, as well as many of us who are living each day without a worry or care... Osama Bin Laden is just one person- yes, he was a "big leader", but the people who followed him are still around... we are still at war. The night the news came out, it seemed like everyone on facebook had some sort of opinion about the news- I didn't agree with some of their opinions as it seems they truly had no idea who this murderer was or what he did, or who in fact should get credit for the death of him. As news continued to trickle out and different stories of his death, his burial, and the people who were involved came about, many people again began to spout off different opinions... I was still indifferent about the whole situation... as relieved as I should've been, I was almost more scared and uneasy about everything.
First of all, let me remind you that regardless of your political party, or if you care for President Obama, HE was not there putting his life on the line- it was our soldiers who have continued to take it upon themselves to make the world a better place- THAT is where credit is due and needed- our soldiers DESERVE the credit... we have been at war for 10 years and this was indeed a "victory" for them... THEY deserve the credit. So many countless citizens have died fighting, while many people over here are giving credit to our President- who wait a second, wasn't it last month was almost freezing their pay? Regardless of if they were paid or not, they would still be over there... so, again, let's remember to give credit where credit is due- to our service-members who have, who are, and who will continue to fight.
Secondly, YOU have an opinion and are able to spout off your mouth about how you feel about this whole situation BECAUSE of my husband and those serving alongside him (and who have served before)... if you are a woman and lived where Osama Bin Laden was you wouldn't have a say- as a woman you have no rights, you have no voice, and quite honestly, you have no reason to be alive. I understand people were excited to hear about the death of Osama Bin Laden, BUT going out in the streets and celebrating? Really? Wasn't it Osama Bin Laden who in fact went out and celebrated the deaths of all those innocent lives lost on September 11? Let's not "stoop" to his level... celebrate if you wish, but do so in an appropriate matter- actions speak louder than words, and those celebrating in the streets are only enticing the Al Qaeda followers- again, my husband, and many others are still in an unsafe area fighting against those people who are watching and waiting for us to make a move. I'm not saying that you can't celebrate- go ahead and celebrate- surely, this is a job well done and something that was needed, as well as his death was well deserved for all those fighting- it was "justice" for those that needed it and a sense of "closure" to those that sought it for the attacks on September 11, but remember, YOU have the right to celebrate in a MODEST way- going out in the streets hooting and hollering like the murderer we killed, is not the "right" way...
I'm still torn on this whole situation, so if you're looking for my answers I have nothing. I'm just saying to remember about those who have served, who are serving, and who will serve. PRAY for them, as they're in more of an "unknowing/unsafe" area than ever before. Be THANKFUL for all the rights that you have as an American citizen.
Thursday, April 28, 2011
Did you hear about...?!?!
As a military wife with my husband deployed I can promise you that I don't listen or watch the news... I almost go out of my way to not hear about things... and honestly, it's tough. It's not like I'm naive to things- I know what's going on- I'm not THAT naive and "out of the loop"... I just choose not to really focus on what's going on. I've heard is said that "there is a lot I don't know that I wish I did; but there is a lot I do know that I wish I didn't"- this is so true, more so now in my life than ever. Everyday I hear about something that happens "over there" that I wish I didn't know... I can't even tell you how my heart sinks whenever I hear about someone who has given the ultimate sacrifice... the person who was killed had a family- they were someone's son, possibly a husband, possibly a father... but either way they knew someone who cared about them more than they will ever know. Someone back here got the worst news possible, and it tears me apart like any other military wife because even if we don't know them, we do "know them"- we can relate to them in many ways most people will never know. Even if I hear about something that happens, such as Taliban escaping, it terrifies me... just like anyone else back home waiting for their loved one. So, whenever I have someone (who truly means well, I know) ask me if I've heard about "this" happening... "this" meaning something crazy/terrible/nuts that has happened over there it irritates me... then, when I say "no" they reply with, "oh, well then in that case, don't worry"... oh ok, thanks for the tip- I won't worry... I'll just pretend I didn't hear what you just asked/told me... I know people mean well and are just asking, but I've had a lot of people ask me what they can do to help military spouses in the "civilian world"- one piece of advice- NEVER ask if someone has heard about something that has happened "over there"- our answer will either be A. NO, we haven't- thanks for telling us, now I have THAT to think about, or B. Yes, I have heard about that- thanks for the REMINDER. Really guys, come on, help us out- please, please, please just don't bring up the news with us- we DO know more than you think regardless of how much/little news we watch/hear. We are doing whatever we can to get through a year without our loved ones right next to us... ALL you have to do is tell us that you're praying for our soldier and we're completely content with life. Really... it's that easy, just tell us "we're praying for them"... no news, no details, no questions... thanks :)
No- he won't be here for that...
You all know by now that we're expecting a little girl (Mackenzie Elizabeth)- due June 19. Before I go about my rant, let me tell you that Caleb is unable to come home for the birth... we are OK with this... seriously. When I tell people that no, Caleb won't be here in the delivery room they freak out and start apologizing- for what exactly I have no idea... do not pity us that he's not going to be right next to me- again, we are FINE with it... it honestly bugs the crud out of me that people get so upset that he's not going to be riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight there... we really don't have much of a choice folks. So he's going to miss the birth- it's not like he's going to miss much else... my husband is going to be the most devout father I know, and will do anything and everything to witness everything he can. I don't know what people want me to say when they start apologizing- some have even cried... seriously, get over it. Again, we are not in control of the situation, and are again, FINE WITH IT. If we're completely ok with the situation we're in then why should anyone else care? Don't feel bad for us- just thank my husband for doing everything he is over there to keep us safe... you think we have it bad? Talk to the wife who found out she has a serious illness- do you think her husband can just come home? NOPE. What about the young wife who was expecting their first child, and miscarried after her husband left? Again, no. Well, what about weddings, birthdays, Christmas, Thanksgiving, and every other holiday? No. Sorry to tell you guys, but they don't get to just "come home" for those things... they miss a year filled with that stuff... and of course they want to be here, but it's not an option for them... so if we're all trying to deal with it how about everyone else just stop questioning everything else and not have pity on us... we can't do a thing about it.
Sunday, March 27, 2011
"All gave some, some gave all."
A week ago today, my military family got word of a fallen comrade in Caleb's troop. Last weekend all the wives back here were "uneasy" as none of us had heard anything from any of our husbands. I can't tell you the amount of texts I received and sent from other spouses/friends (some in different units) that asked the same thing "have you heard from your hubby?" No. None of us heard ANYTHING. By Saturday night we all knew something was wrong, but just had to wait. I can't even describe how terrible the waiting feels. You don't even know what you're waiting for- but all you want, is to hear from your husband... I know I didn't sleep much at all, as I was up praying for my husband, his comrades, and all of the families... Sunday morning I "got the call" saying that someone had been killed, and several others had been critically injured... as relieved as I was, I didn't know WHO had been affected by this "incident"... again, we all waited. I finally heard from Caleb shortly after, and was so relieved. At first we were only able to chat via facebook messages, and every single typed letter made me smile... I heard from my husband. While talking to him, and several other wives we found out who had been injured and killed... and our hearts broke for his family/friends, as well as our soldiers. This comrade of Caleb's laid his life down for us... he will never be forgotten. I can't imagine the pain and hurt that my husband and his friends had to deal with- he was one of their friends. I did not know the man very well, but I knew him... I also knew his wife and his family. We all mourned the loss of this soldier, and will continue to go on with our lives, but his family is forever changed... and we are all forever changed. Please continue to pray for our soldiers (and their families)- every day. They need more prayers, encouragement, and support than any of us know, or will ever know. Keep them in your thoughts and prayers every day and night.
I'm no Hero
Were it not for the BRAVE, there would be no land of the FREE. God Bless Our Soldiers.
“Let me be a free man. Free to travel. Free to stop. Free to work. Free to choose my own teachers. Free to follow the religion of my fathers. Free to think and talk and act for myself.”
A few weeks ago I was in a fabric store, and while the clerk was cutting out the camo-colors, I told her what I was making, and that my husband is currently deployed. We chatted for about 10 minutes about the war, Caleb, our bundle of joy coming in less than 12 weeks, and random other things. When she was all done, she got teary-eyed, stopped what she was doing and shook my hand. "Thank YOU for everything that you're doing. Thank your husband as well for serving ALL of us. I am free because of him, and my grand-daughter, whom I adore and love with all of my heart has a better life and is free because of him and his soldiers. Thank you- your husband and you are my hero's..., none of you get the thanks you truly deserve." WOW. I was dumbfounded and at a loss for words. I told her I was no hero, because I'm really not doing anything, but thank you, and that I would tell him thanks from her... I was fighting back tears the entire way out of the store. SHE called ME a hero... I am NO hero by any means. My husband is my hero, and the hero of many others. The soldiers fighting for us and the soldiers who have fought for us are the true heroes, but I don't consider myself a hero. I'm not the one thousands of miles away from my family and friends for an entire year... I'm not the one who has to stay up for days at a time. While I'm complaining about working an 8 hour day ("a FULL work day") my husband and his comrades have been up for 12 hours and are STILL working, and aren't complaining. They don't get a day off- yes, they work every day of the year... and did I mention that there are no sick days? There aren't. I'm not the one who has gone through months-years of training and have missed holidays, birthdays, and anniversaries... I'm here, able to share in those holidays with other friends and family members. I'm definitely not a hero... a hero is described as someone with exceptional courage, nobility, and strength. Well, that does NOT mean me- what-so-ever. I am not a courageous person- people may think I am because I'm a military wife, and so I may be considered "courageous or strong" because of that title, but it is not my usual nature. I am courageous and strong because I have to be. I am strong/courageous for my family/friends back here, and I am strong for my husband. I wouldn't have it any other way though. I am strong because my husband is strong. I admire him in so many ways, and look up to him- due to that, I am strong. I want to be more like him. I wish I had half the strength he does, and half the determination, drive, heart, desire, perseverance, and courage. My husband is my hero. As for that lady though, if I can be her hero I will be- because even though I'm not a "spitting image" of my husband, I do take pride in the fact that he has helped make me the person I am today, so if that heroism has rubbed off from him then so be it. Caleb is my hero... he always has been and always will be.
“Let me be a free man. Free to travel. Free to stop. Free to work. Free to choose my own teachers. Free to follow the religion of my fathers. Free to think and talk and act for myself.”
A few weeks ago I was in a fabric store, and while the clerk was cutting out the camo-colors, I told her what I was making, and that my husband is currently deployed. We chatted for about 10 minutes about the war, Caleb, our bundle of joy coming in less than 12 weeks, and random other things. When she was all done, she got teary-eyed, stopped what she was doing and shook my hand. "Thank YOU for everything that you're doing. Thank your husband as well for serving ALL of us. I am free because of him, and my grand-daughter, whom I adore and love with all of my heart has a better life and is free because of him and his soldiers. Thank you- your husband and you are my hero's..., none of you get the thanks you truly deserve." WOW. I was dumbfounded and at a loss for words. I told her I was no hero, because I'm really not doing anything, but thank you, and that I would tell him thanks from her... I was fighting back tears the entire way out of the store. SHE called ME a hero... I am NO hero by any means. My husband is my hero, and the hero of many others. The soldiers fighting for us and the soldiers who have fought for us are the true heroes, but I don't consider myself a hero. I'm not the one thousands of miles away from my family and friends for an entire year... I'm not the one who has to stay up for days at a time. While I'm complaining about working an 8 hour day ("a FULL work day") my husband and his comrades have been up for 12 hours and are STILL working, and aren't complaining. They don't get a day off- yes, they work every day of the year... and did I mention that there are no sick days? There aren't. I'm not the one who has gone through months-years of training and have missed holidays, birthdays, and anniversaries... I'm here, able to share in those holidays with other friends and family members. I'm definitely not a hero... a hero is described as someone with exceptional courage, nobility, and strength. Well, that does NOT mean me- what-so-ever. I am not a courageous person- people may think I am because I'm a military wife, and so I may be considered "courageous or strong" because of that title, but it is not my usual nature. I am courageous and strong because I have to be. I am strong/courageous for my family/friends back here, and I am strong for my husband. I wouldn't have it any other way though. I am strong because my husband is strong. I admire him in so many ways, and look up to him- due to that, I am strong. I want to be more like him. I wish I had half the strength he does, and half the determination, drive, heart, desire, perseverance, and courage. My husband is my hero. As for that lady though, if I can be her hero I will be- because even though I'm not a "spitting image" of my husband, I do take pride in the fact that he has helped make me the person I am today, so if that heroism has rubbed off from him then so be it. Caleb is my hero... he always has been and always will be.
Monday, February 14, 2011
It's just a year...
I'm up, which isn't all that surprising seeing how I haven't been sleeping for the past 2 months or so- whether it's because my husband is gone, or I have a little one bouncing around/kicking me, I'm not quite sure, but what I do know is that I'M WIDE AWAKE. I have so much frustration, hurt, anger, and impatience surging through my veins right now, that I can't even imagine sleeping right now. I'm praying for patience, a kind heart, and some peace, but it's not coming easy. As all of you know, today is the big "love holiday"... I was completely fine throughout the entire day, as Caleb and I don't really "celebrate" this day, but towards the end of the day it really, really, really started to take it's toll on me...status after status on facebook made my heart break, and I just grew more frustrated the longer I stayed on, so I decided to go to sleep so that the day would just be over with... and how unsettling is that? I'm going to bed, so that I can just move on to tomorrow- aghh, so sad it seems. Before I say anything, I'm NOT asking for pity- that's the LAST THING I WANT... I just am venting... ;)
After sharing my thoughts about this day, and actually over the past 2 months or so I've heard similar thoughts from people... "oh, it's only a year" or "he'll be back before you know it", or... "it's a year, it'll FLY BY, and it's ONLY A YEAR... it's such a short time to be apart"... whenever I hear these comments I try my best to stay calm and just hold everything in, and it literally takes every ounce in my body NOT to break down and come unglued, although, I guess I could blame it on the pregnancy "crazy" hormones... since moving back into the "civilian" world I have come to realize that some people truly want to understand, but just can't if they haven't been in the situation- I get that. I also get that people may not know what to say, and think that what they're saying is helping in the situation, I get that as well- believe me, I do. I fully believe in the goodness of others, and am so blessed to have such wonderful friends and family, but seriously... give me a freakin' break... a year is NOT a short time... I'm sure thinking back on a year it seems like it goes by fast (at times), and I've been known to catch myself say "gosh, I can't believe that was already a year ago!" HOWEVER... I do believe that these sayings don't happen during a deployment year. IT'S A YEAR PEOPLE. I'm a math teacher, so with my calculations... a year is 365 days (thankfully it's not a leap year this year!)... so 365 days... which is 52 weeks (roughly)... which is over 8700 hours... 525600 minutes, and way too many seconds to think about my better half. Again, I understand the good intentions of people, but seriously, don't tell me it's going to fly by if you haven't had to wait by the phone or computer all day HOPING to hear from him... let alone have to go days without talking... and when I say "talking" I mean most likely instant messaging... I'm thankful I live in an age with technology because skype is awesome, but seriously, skyping doesn't do it justice. Not a minute goes by where I don't think of him... not an hour ticks away where I haven't prayed... I'm telling you- I spend more seconds/minutes/hours on my knees praying than anything else... don't tell me that it's flying by... because it's NOT. Yes, I'll admit that some days seem "shorter" than others, but those are the days that I get to talk to my husband... don't tell me it's "a short time" because you're not the one staying by your phone, or NOT staying at home in fear of the worst because you HAVEN'T heard from him... anything that crosses my mind throughout those minutes/hours during a day has to wait to be told- in an email or over the computer... I can't just shoot my husband a text telling him that I'm thinking about him... and he can't do the same. Don't tell me that "he'll be back before you know it"... I know he'll be back... but it's definitely a long time... put yourselves in the shoes of my military families and I...try:
-going a day without hearing from your husband/wife
-not to share some important news- and by important I mean, family/health/work/financial issues
-spending every holiday for the next YEAR apart (with/without gifts- and if you DO do gifts, send them in the mail- 2-3 weeks in advance so that it'll HOPEFULLY get there in time)
-go to bed every night by yourself... your bed will seem a LOT bigger than it used to
-tell someone you love them over and over in a conversation so that you'll always end it with that if the computer goes down
-fixing things/dealing with things while they're gone- EVERYTHING that can happen WILL happen during a deployment... I can't tell you just how many of my friends have dealt with health issues, family crisis', car/house repairs, etc... all by themselves
-having to wake up/get ready every day and attempt to keep everything running smoothly for those around you because you HAVE to hold it together for others
-oh, and go 365 days without holding the one you love-their hand, getting a kiss or hug, etc...
After attempting to do those, come talk to me- oh, and throw in the fact that they're in a war zone... just sayin'. Again, I'm terribly sorry if this offends anyone, as I'm not trying to by anymeans, and I am so blessed by my wonderful family/friends/military friends- I'm not singling anyone out by this, and maybe I should blame it on my pregnancy hormones, as I might just sound a bit critical for some, but seriously... I'm just tired of having people say "oh, it'll go fast"... or "oh, it's just a year/short time"... PLEASE.
After sharing my thoughts about this day, and actually over the past 2 months or so I've heard similar thoughts from people... "oh, it's only a year" or "he'll be back before you know it", or... "it's a year, it'll FLY BY, and it's ONLY A YEAR... it's such a short time to be apart"... whenever I hear these comments I try my best to stay calm and just hold everything in, and it literally takes every ounce in my body NOT to break down and come unglued, although, I guess I could blame it on the pregnancy "crazy" hormones... since moving back into the "civilian" world I have come to realize that some people truly want to understand, but just can't if they haven't been in the situation- I get that. I also get that people may not know what to say, and think that what they're saying is helping in the situation, I get that as well- believe me, I do. I fully believe in the goodness of others, and am so blessed to have such wonderful friends and family, but seriously... give me a freakin' break... a year is NOT a short time... I'm sure thinking back on a year it seems like it goes by fast (at times), and I've been known to catch myself say "gosh, I can't believe that was already a year ago!" HOWEVER... I do believe that these sayings don't happen during a deployment year. IT'S A YEAR PEOPLE. I'm a math teacher, so with my calculations... a year is 365 days (thankfully it's not a leap year this year!)... so 365 days... which is 52 weeks (roughly)... which is over 8700 hours... 525600 minutes, and way too many seconds to think about my better half. Again, I understand the good intentions of people, but seriously, don't tell me it's going to fly by if you haven't had to wait by the phone or computer all day HOPING to hear from him... let alone have to go days without talking... and when I say "talking" I mean most likely instant messaging... I'm thankful I live in an age with technology because skype is awesome, but seriously, skyping doesn't do it justice. Not a minute goes by where I don't think of him... not an hour ticks away where I haven't prayed... I'm telling you- I spend more seconds/minutes/hours on my knees praying than anything else... don't tell me that it's flying by... because it's NOT. Yes, I'll admit that some days seem "shorter" than others, but those are the days that I get to talk to my husband... don't tell me it's "a short time" because you're not the one staying by your phone, or NOT staying at home in fear of the worst because you HAVEN'T heard from him... anything that crosses my mind throughout those minutes/hours during a day has to wait to be told- in an email or over the computer... I can't just shoot my husband a text telling him that I'm thinking about him... and he can't do the same. Don't tell me that "he'll be back before you know it"... I know he'll be back... but it's definitely a long time... put yourselves in the shoes of my military families and I...try:
-going a day without hearing from your husband/wife
-not to share some important news- and by important I mean, family/health/work/financial issues
-spending every holiday for the next YEAR apart (with/without gifts- and if you DO do gifts, send them in the mail- 2-3 weeks in advance so that it'll HOPEFULLY get there in time)
-go to bed every night by yourself... your bed will seem a LOT bigger than it used to
-tell someone you love them over and over in a conversation so that you'll always end it with that if the computer goes down
-fixing things/dealing with things while they're gone- EVERYTHING that can happen WILL happen during a deployment... I can't tell you just how many of my friends have dealt with health issues, family crisis', car/house repairs, etc... all by themselves
-having to wake up/get ready every day and attempt to keep everything running smoothly for those around you because you HAVE to hold it together for others
-oh, and go 365 days without holding the one you love-their hand, getting a kiss or hug, etc...
After attempting to do those, come talk to me- oh, and throw in the fact that they're in a war zone... just sayin'. Again, I'm terribly sorry if this offends anyone, as I'm not trying to by anymeans, and I am so blessed by my wonderful family/friends/military friends- I'm not singling anyone out by this, and maybe I should blame it on my pregnancy hormones, as I might just sound a bit critical for some, but seriously... I'm just tired of having people say "oh, it'll go fast"... or "oh, it's just a year/short time"... PLEASE.
Saturday, January 1, 2011
Finding Friends
It has been 4.5 days since Caleb left... I honestly have been doing pretty well... give or take several "break down" moments... I have kept myself busy by hanging out with the other wives in the same situation... which has been such a blessing. I am so grateful for all of the amazing wives that I have met down here and the friendships that I have made...it's such a strong relationship that we all have. I remember having people pray for us to find friends when we moved here as Caleb and I both had such close, wonderful, lifelong friends back home... but the funny thing about the military is you don't FIND FRIENDS. You GAIN a family member. In the Army you don't necessarily have friends... you have an immediate family. I can't believe HOW CLOSE you get in such a short amount of time... I truly feel like I have known our friends here our entire lives. We're always calling/emailing/texting each other to check in on one another... the first few months we were here our door was literally "open" for any/all to come by and hang out... and not many days went by withOUT people coming in... not only are these people my closest friends, but they are some of the strongest people I have EVER met in my ENTIRE LIFE. Over the past year quite a few of my closest friends in the military have moved away, but unlike a lot of my friendships throughout my life, I have kept in touch with them- not a week goes by where I don't talk to them... sometimes I ask myself "gosh, is this really what a friendship is supposed to look like?" It's a two-way street- we're ALWAYS checking in on each other- it's not necessarily just one person always calling or texting... I have never opened up to people more in my life than now... maybe that's why we're all so close- we just have too much knowledge about the other person to "back out" of the friendship. Ever since Caleb left, I have gotten even closer to the other military wives that I barely knew... we stick together... I have already received countless phone calls/texts/emails either calling because they need company, or calling to say "I'm thinking of you and praying for you"... I can't really even describe the friendship that we have with one another... it's just a "different" way of living. There are so many differences between the "Army people" and the "civilian people"- by no means am I saying one is better than the other, but I am saying that I'm so blessed by the people I have met down here... especially when my "civilian" friends call to talk and mention how lonely they are... I can't even remember how many times someone outside of the Army has called me to say that they're lonely, or are "home alone, so call anytime because I have no one to talk to and miss my other half"... and I can't even begin to tell you just how many times I have put the phone away from my ear and taken a huge breath in and a huge breath out... "they don't understand" I say... "they're trying to understand, but they can't"... or "they're trying to make a connection with you having a similar thing in common- loneliness"... but in all reality, it's not the same. My military wives are breaking down every time they hear these words from someone close to them. We're all hurting and missing our other half... but somehow, we're dealing with it... possibly by putting the phone down with these people and instantly calling our military wives and saying "oh man, you HAVE to hear what my civilian friend just said- I can't believe it..." it's just one of those things... or possibly by just being there for each other and listening to them cry, talk, or yell about things... either way, I'm so abundantly blessed by ALL of my friends-whether in the "civilian world" or the "Army world"... I can't even remember just how many phone calls I have received over the past few days where people have said "I just wanted to let you know that I'm here for you... and if you ever need anything let me know... praying for you." I'm so thankful for all of my friends... I'm even thankful for the friends that complain to ME about how lonely THEY are... because in some way, I know all too well what they're going through.
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